Muse

ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first but didn't live up to the hype yeah like all the time yeah i did that with an all potato restaurant oh no marketers know that feeling they optimize for the numbers that look great like impressions but then they don't see revenue you know what i'm talking about oh yeah all the time yeah LinkedIn has a word for that, bullspend.

Bullspend.

Yeah. Instead, you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bullspend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to linkedin.com slash Conan. Terms apply.

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Hi, my name is Andrew Scott. And taught all her serum about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

What? What is that?

That means I'm happy in Irish.

In Irish. Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walking blues. Climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are going to be friends. Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends

of me with the guests. I'll be with Billie Eilish. I'll be with, you know, whoever the guest is. But I think Billie Eilish came to mind because I was looking at the photograph and my hair is insane. And I realized that for years and years and years, I would do a show and I'd, you know, run a comb through my hair and kind of, you know, make sure the coif was working. And I don't do that at all with the podcast. And sometimes it's insanity. We have a wall out there of pictures of me with different guests and my hair is all over the map it really i mean it's it's mood hair it's just insanity and i don't know i got self-conscious i think the other day some maybe it was the billy eilish photograph popped up on my screen i uh i don't know what's going on up there i look like shemp from the three stooges yeah um if he were uh a ginger and then i started to think what you know, do I need to do something about this? Do I need to get it under control? Or is this just what it is now, man? It's you. It's podcast, man. I have to get make sure my hair looks decent every time we do it. No, you don't. Conan! No, no, what I'm saying, Sona, I wasn't saying your hair looks bad. It's just I don't think you have any control over what's happening on top of your

head. I certainly do, sir. What do you mean? I put so much product in my hair and I have to make

sure that it's it's like kind of so i'm seeing your hair after it's been treated and cared for i'm just and i'm saying this sony you know this is also a compliment because your hair is

powerful it is the source of your strength i have the most iconic hair on this podcast

that's saying something yeah that's i'm kidding but i mean you have abundant luxurious powerful hair. It is. But what do you do to it? Okay, so I get out of the shower. To make it so angry and

crazy. Do you taunt it? I start off, I put in argan oil to moisturize. Is it aragon oil? What is that? It's argan oil. Argan. Isn't argan a gas? It's a gas. No, a-r-g-a-n. Oh, okay. Not o-n. What is organ oil? It's like Moroccan oil It's like really nice oil And it moisturizes You can use it on your skin And then after that I put in like seven other products Like I put in a leave-in conditioner I put in a styling cream I put in some gel And then I twirl it Then I blow dry it And then

Then you use a defibrillator Clear! Bang!

Clear! Bang! I do so much stuff Yeah.

Hostage negotiator comes in.

Yeah, but it's been dry lately because I ran out of Argonne Oil.

What would it be like if you didn't use all that?

Huh?

What would it be like if you didn't use all that?

Oh, it's horrific.

Okay. So this stuff is expensive?

It is expensive. Yeah. It's because it's imported. It's expensive.

So you have to get it from Morocco. That's the best way to do it. Have you been to Morocco to shop for Argonne Oil?

I have not, but I would love to go and I would go just to shop for Argonne Oil.

I think if they knew, if the people in Morocco knew you were coming to get more of their oil, I think they would try to keep you from showing up. Because it's just a massive drain on their oil supply. I just picture huge reservoirs of argon oil being poured over your head just to tame your hair for two hours.

Well, maybe it'll help your hair, too.

You think I should put argon oil in my hair?

I think, yes.

Oh, and then slick it and part it down the middle and put on glasses and go.

It's a new look.

I'm a bibliophile.

Yeah, I would I would love to go to Morocco to just buy some more argan oil. Yeah.

OK, not going to happen.

Oh, OK.

Not on my dime, that's for sure. Hopefully. Do you direct order it from Morocco?

No, but you can only get it because they there. I guess they're just trees that only grow in Morocco and then they like cultivate the oil.

They're cutting down trees in Morocco to tame your hair. No, they're cutting down forests to tame her hair.

Forests?

Yeah. That's why there's a desert.

It was beautiful. Yeah.

No, it was like Ireland there once until Sona started to try and tame her hair. Oh my God. It was like the Shire. There were monkeys going from tree to tree. And then Sona was born.

Oh man.

We need these trees.

You thought I'd been using it since I was born? like I was an infant putting on argan oil

I think you were born with all that hair I really do I don't think you were a bald baby

I wasn't I actually was not a bald baby

I didn't think so your hair was born maybe two months before you came out

is that funny? your mom was braiding it

well she'll be here soon yeah that's right that's the image I want all of you to have that's how you're actually born with a handle yeah when it was time They jerked me out. A ripcord, yeah. And swoop. Wah, wah, wah. So anyway, that's insanity. So it's dry now because you're no argon oil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've run out, so I gotta go get some.

All right, we gotta get you some. All right. Insane, in just insanity. And one of the most disturbing images out of hundreds and hundreds of episodes we've done.

Yes.

Sona's hair coming out months before she comes out And then her mom combing it and braiding it before Sona's born is freaking me out.

I feel like this is the second time you've done a whole bit about my birth. Where one time you were talking about my mom crushing me. What? Do you guys remember? Yeah, this sounds vaguely familiar. He just kept yelling, I crush you.

I crush you, I crush you. Yeah, with her strong pelvic muscles. She was crushing you.

Don't say, don't talk about my mom's pelvic muscles.

I crush you, I crush you. Yeah, I don't know why she was crushing you. But I do remember the phrase. I crushed you.

You owe my mom an apology. I don't think so.

I love your mom. She's fantastic.

Yeah. Because this is like a show expense, though, like based on like the Blay way of doing things. Can I use my corporate card to buy Argon oil?

Absolutely not. No, because that's just going to encourage Blay to buy more, you know, whatever Star Wars gloves and Iron Man assholes and then charge us for them. So no. Why am I catching strays in this? Because you know what you did, and it was wrong, and your mother's been implicated as well. No, no, you cannot buy argon oil on our dime. It's not going to happen.

All right.

Okay, I'll stop you. All right, we've got to get into this, because we have an amazing show today. My guest today is a fantastic actor who has starred in Sherlock, Fleabag, I mean, so much more. I adore this fellow. Me too. I think he's one of the greatest actors alive. I'm serious about that. Now you can see him in the new movie, Pressure. I'm just on cloud nine that he's here today because I have not met the man. Andrew Scott, welcome. You may not be aware that there is an Irish television show that's in Irish language exclusively that they make in Ireland. Yes, it's called Ross Naroon. Ross Naroon. I was on Ross Naroon. I was on Ross Naroon. And then it got canceled. Yeah, yeah. You were in the last season of Ross Naroon. You closed Ross Naroon. I'm the one that ended it. It was flourishing. But no, I went, I did some taping in Dublin. We found out there was a possibility I could...

beyond Rosnarum, I said, yes, all my lines are in Irish. Wow. What we used to call Gaelic, but they're all in Irish. So did you have to learn it phonetically? Yes, I had to learn it. They had cue cards that a horse could read. I mean, literally, it was, ha, bo, ee, na. It's the most insane language. It is completely crazy. It's completely insane. It is crazy. And I thought, well, this is going to be cool. And I get there and I talked to this very cool woman who's the producer, super efficient, super smart, wicked sense of humor. And I said to her, what's my part? I'm coming in. Am I the dashing? And she went, no, you're an idiot who delivers balloons to the bar. And I said to her, listen, as a joke, I said to her, listen, there's a good chance that before the day is out, you will fall in love with me. This is what happens when I work with me and she said i'll fall in love with you if you get this done in half an hour don't burst the balloon yeah yeah yeah and don't touch the balloons and it occurred to me that i've been to uh ireland a number of times and what always occurs to me is that my formative experience was performing there was a show i did once with a bunch of other irish comedians years and years and years ago the show's over with we're at the american ambassadors residence in phoenix park We get into a cab. The cab driver's funnier than all of us. Yeah, of course. And it's just, you throw a stick and you will hit 75 of the funniest people you've ever met in your life. And they'll tear your face off. No, they're vicious. Yeah, vicious. But you grew up in Dublin. I grew up in Dublin.

Yeah, yeah. My father was from the west of Ireland, very rural Ireland. My mother was from northern Ireland. But yeah, Irish, 100% Irish. Have you confronted your Irishness? Oh, it's like, I think it increases. I think it increases you know I think if you get because when you're in Ireland you just you don't think about it but when you're outside if you're an Irish person outside of Ireland you're much more aware I think of your Irishness than you would be of course if you were just surrounded by everybody else

other babbling

other babbling people

mildly depressed but also euphoric people

but euphoric people and I do think there is a there's a a reliance on storytelling and you know babbling and being funny because it keeps the people alive it completely keeps the people alive So if everybody's emigrated, the way you talk about them is you create this stuff about them and you create, you keep them in the room. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I do think, I was just back there filming actually in Ireland for the first time in a long time actually. And everybody's funny. Yeah. Everybody's funny.

It's the way, it's the language. Yeah, it is. It's just the way. The use of language. So I need to say this right up front. I intended to say it right up front, but of course we started talking immediately. About Ross Naroon. About Ross Naroon. Which, by the way, every single podcast interview I do. Ross Naroon.

I'm sorry to bring Ross Naroon up again.

Cher was just here and we talked about Ross Naroon. You know? Well, she brought it up. Yeah. She brought it up. She said, have you ever done Ross Naroon? And I said, shut up, Cher. I am a, Andrew, I am a mega fan to a disturbing level. And I know exactly when it started, which is my son really got into the remake of Sherlock Holmes with Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah. Benedict Cumberbatch. And by the way, in the States, that's a sobriety test. You don't even have to get out of the car now. They say, who's in the Sherlock Holmes? And if you go, Benedict Cumberbatch.

I can come with me, sir.

so benedict cumberbatch as as as holmes and then you are his nemesis moriarty and the second you walked on camera was a epic moment for me because and jump in here if you know yeah this this performance you gave which has been much discussed and it really puts you on the map you are frightening terrifying and funny and i've always thought all the best villains are charming and funny totally it's important yeah yeah yeah and your moriarty there's this iconic scene where you walk into that there's a swimming pool and you're being very clever and you have that beautiful lilt in your voice and you're very and then at one point you say i believe the line is you you be you get enraged and you say to holmes i will burn your heart i'll burn the heart out of i'll burn the heart out of you but then you're kind of pleasant again and i i think i've i don't know how many times i've watched that scene but you are so great in that role and then these things just came one after another fleabag the hot priest in fleabag was an iconic standout role um and by the way if there were five people you'd asked me a month ago who would you who Who would you like to meet that you haven't met? one would be you and the other would be Phoebe Waller-Bridge who I've never met who I absolutely adore she's keeping us at a distance which quite right did you mention Ross Naroon

I did just saying

staring you in the face you know she apparently was booked then she saw me as the balloon boy in Ross Naroon he popped those balloons yeah and she was out but i'm serious you have to watch it it's a fright it's a did you arrive i have the balloons and the the guy at the bar is starts thinking i'm an idiot and calling me an idiot and we get into a dispute and i'm quickly ejected from the bar um that was my big and then um was a year and a half ago i hear oh they've they've come out with uh a serialized version of ripley yeah that i have watched ripley which i believe is how many episodes i think it's eight episodes i think i've watched it three times all the way through your performance is stunning all the performances are great one of the things i also noticed is that you can freeze frame any second of those eight episodes and have that mounted on the wall and it's a credible black and white photograph it's maybe i don't i'm not someone who walks away from a project and says oh the cinematography yeah that is one of the most spectacular pieces of truly television filmmaking so that got me your vanya which which uh is you play every role too yeah which i don't understand there are times i watch people usually it's in athletics where i say well i that's a different species um but i i don't know how you did that and then i'm delighted that one of my my best friends in the world one of my oldest and best friends uh lisa kudrow uh has done this brilliant yes third version of the comeback yeah and i don't even know you're in it and then you walk in as her new very mysterious strange boss and i thought okay all my favorite people are in one project so Andrew if I do nothing else but compliment you in this talk it will be a very boring interview you're forgetting

he's a Bond villain too oh I know

I know I left that out just to humiliate you I appreciate it he works Bond in every I try you do you're a big Bond guy

well I mean take it or leave it but

no no he's we will be talking to a historian about the battle of Gettysburg and he will say how do you think james bond would have done in that situation you were fantastic yeah yeah so thank you you've had you had this um well-deserved run but like all people you have an origin story yeah and we got to go back to that because you apparently were a very shy kid yeah very shy yeah shy and you had a pronounced lisp yeah i had a sort of really

strong lisp which I think a lot of kids do they sort of grow out of it it's kind of cute but so I went to sort of elocution lessons and you do like when I bring up lisp is it just come back what are you talking about

I have no idea what you're saying say Benedict Cumberbatch right now

but yeah I had a lisp and so yeah you have to do this terrible thing called elocution which is you know all about your but part it's basically speech and drama and so the speech part was sort of stultifying with the drama part was suddenly I was able to be kind of not shy and do all these kind of weird things. And I kind of love TV and all that kind of stuff. What were you watching on TV? Like, just like The Muppet Show. I was like nothing, you know, not just exclusively The Muppet Show.

To this day. To this day. You've never seen anything. You watched all The Muppet Show and then you did Vanya. All the parts.

But The Muppet Show is extraordinary though right have you seen the jim henson documentary yeah because we had ron howard in here yeah yeah for that i mean i got to know the man a little bit did you really in

another lifetime yeah i was ran this uh he was a muppet yeah i was a muppet back in the day yeah i'm related to the eagle um uh no uh very good friend of mine from college was lisa henson and her dad used to come and visit us and then uh we he was very nice to me and then one day because i i ran the college shimer magazine and he said hey conan do you want one of the chairs from the dark crystal for the Lampoon building? And I said, well, sure. And he said, well, come down and pick it up. And so we rented a van and my friend,

Jessica Marshall and Mark Gannon and I jumped in a van and I'd never done anything like this I drove from Boston to New York oh come on we went to this warehouse and they said you hit you know a guy with a cigar was like you here for the dark crystal throne yes I am and it's still there to

this day yeah amazing just an incredible man just what he would have done I that's why watching this thing I mean just I guess that's why I guess that's why like what even as a kid you're sort of fully formed I think you know what I mean so yeah you know when you're when you're when you're doing all that stuff when i was a kid you just sort of know you become maybe more accomplished but all the stuff is there with you with you i think when you're eight years old i think it's something that he really recognizes being here because he understands that sort of you know something i talk about endlessly in acting which is about playfulness is the sort of you're really required to be it's just to be like i'll do that with you sure you know what i mean then you you just slot yourself into different sort of scenarios and different sort of tones of of um of drama or

comedy or whatever it is and you were very artistic yeah artistic so you drawing painting

what are you doing drawing a lot lots of life drawing my mother was an art teacher and yeah just just drawing all the time it's um something that i i'm still still really interested in yeah so that was kind of kind of um you know that weird thing where you're you get terrible party anxiety and once you're at the party you're okay yeah yeah and so the drawing the drawing is a way of um i don't know it's practicing human beings yeah yeah creepy I'll be there in a minute

I just have to draw all of you

Everyone stay still Don't move

Well Father's Day is coming up Hint hint June 21st We're not your children My children are not getting me anything So it's up to you guys to get me Father's Day. They have never bought into Father's Day, but you guys are going to. You're my employees and you have to. Well, guess what? Luckily, Macy's has a wide range of options, the expertise to help you find the perfect gift. Macy's is the answer for Father's Day. David, as my sort of surrogate son.

Okay, aw, that's nice.

The son that I hired to buy me things. Exactly. I hope that you're prepared. for this Father's Day

and I hope you've consulted Macy's. Oh, I sure I have done both of those things.

First. Oh, there you go. You love a pun.

We got you a shirt that says The Grill Father.

I love that shirt because you know what? I love the Godfather movies and I love grilling and they've combined them with The Grill Father. And are you ready to combine it even more?

Let's see the next gift. Ooh. A ninja indoor grill. Can I say something? That looks really good. It does. And then, you know, sometimes when you're grilling, you know, you might want to get rid of that, that scent, that smell. So we got you some Dior cologne. Oh, is that Sauvage? It's Sauvage.

Oh, my God. I love Sauvage. And I love that it does mask the scent of charred meat really well.

Yeah. So happy Father's Day from us and Macy's.

You know what? I want to say thank you. Those are cool gifts. I love it. Check out Macy's online gift guide for more ideas at macy's.com slash gift guide. this message is brought to you by original penguin original penguin's been a staple of american style since 1955 known for blending vintage inspired flair with an effortless original cool this may and june the focus is on father's day and preparing for summer style the latest drop features bold prints vibrant colors and new swimwear it's the perfect time to update the wardrobe with pieces that say vintage cool without trying too hard i've had a couple of penguin shirts for years. I wear them all the time. I always get compliments. You look great in those penguin shirts. They like make you look buff. Yeah, they make me look buff. I think it's because there are muscles sewn in to the chest. No, I'm just kidding. But they do. They look great. They feel really good. It's a timeless classic. So head over to OriginalPenguin.com and use code CONAN for 20% off your first order. Terms apply. Original Penguin. Be an original. Big news, Sona. Yeah? Did you know T-Mobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation? No way! Yep, they're making it easier to stay connected so you're free to wander. Well, that's really cool. And I love a national park, I really do. I do too. Now, there's one thing you have to have if you're doing that, good signal. It's a priority. Do you know what I mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast. Yeah. So take America's best network plus their off-grid satellite coverage with you. Look, we're all a little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff and suddenly you don't have it because of a bad single. That's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon. Oh, okay. Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T-Mobile and never had to chuck them again. You know? Good. So wander over to T-Mobile.com and switch. Best. based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data for 2H 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T-satellite with capable device in most outdoor areas in US where you see the sky. That's important, you gotta see the sky. Service may be limited or unavailable. Included with experience beyond or $10 per month. Auto renews, cancel any time. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand. it. Disclaimer, please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. You said something that really struck a nerve with me, which is we come fully formed. And that's something that my father used to say to us. He used to say, all of you are who you were when I brought you home from the hospital. Meaning when you, it's like buying a phone that already has the software yeah all that stuff i know parents really like to think i mold the child and i create the child and they get very egotistical about it and it's always been clear to me that

they are who they are they come what you can do is you can you can fuck it up yeah but and you can also nurture and i'm still deciding which way to go yeah my kids but yeah they gotta earn it um and my time is precious but you know

that's but you can fuck up the software completely couldn't you like you know you go like if you have this very sad idea of what something wants to be you know somebody I think that's I think that's what my parents were both very good at actually but no because the three there's I've got two sisters my sisters my older sister Sarah is very sporty and my younger sister and is very artistic but in a sort of slightly different way to the way the way I was artistic and they were both very good at going okay well you do that and I think some of the real damage you can do is by going I don't know making your iPhone a Samsung phone

nicely done yeah it works nicely done my child is child of capitalism nicely done right because you just secured a deal with Apple although I've already secured it that's why that's pretty good damn you that's why you paused before you said that you had to get it

in the right order damn get it right get it right There's a lot riding on this.

Well, let me just say that Hanes underwear, I think, is the best underwear. Because that's the only deal I could get. Mr. iPhone over here. Hey, check that out. I'm wearing six layers. Oh, are you wearing Hanes?

Hey!

Let's be honest. I would kill for a Hanes deal. I'd take anything at this point.

Hanes is American, right? Is Hanes a... I don't really have Hanes. I only wear American underwear. is something that I'm very patriotic.

I check people's underwear constantly just to make sure they're patriots. These colors don't run. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Founded in North Carolina. Thanks for that info. You got it. North Carolina. Thank you. Thank you, Eduardo. We did it. Did you look it up on your iPhone? So you grow up, you're working on the elocution. I wasn't going to say that. Yeah. you never grew up but but also i love that you said about play because that's all any of this is yeah for sure and i constantly remind people that i have you take me at at 12 years old and i'm what i'm doing now is certain things have been articulated and developed it's the same thing yeah right i'm just play i love to play and i will play with anybody yeah i someone on the street will talk to me and if they're funny i'll spend 20 minutes with them yeah yeah uh it's just the same thing and it's a love of play yeah which we then get very highfalutin you are vanya yeah yeah you become and it's extremely impressive and it takes this amazing talent and discipline

you're still playing no you absolutely are and i hate the idea of high art and low art i really do i think it's nonsense yeah and actually all the people who were you know like with shakespeare any of those people like shakespeare i always feel has been sort of hijacked by academics you know and anybody you know i always find out because the very first i because we used to do when i was a kid we used to do these we used to get to do shakespeare in these little irish competitions you know like just extracts from shakespeare so um you do 10 minutes of it and you sort of i don't know you just understood you just i kind of understood it in a way didn't understand all the words um but then i think what happens with some of those big guys is if there if there are 250 books written about how to um speak the language of michael patrick king and lisa kudrow's the comeback right it would drown it it would kill it there isn't a way of doing it there isn't a way of doing it there's a and so what what i think happens with sort of some of those with theater particulars there's this idea that it's that you're not that not everybody is possessed of the thing that, that, that.

that an actor needs to possess which is just to my mind just playfulness and the stuff that i love to do is to be able to just do lots of all the different stuff because why wouldn't you what's

also it's seeing that yes i love shakespeare but i also love the muppet show yeah that i love some of the more you know refined cinema but i cut my teeth on warner brothers cartoons yeah the timing, the characters, the kinds of, uh, attitudes that people are playing. And I think there's no difference between a great Warner brothers cartoon and, uh, a really good Shakespeare

sonnet. It's, it's, it's exactly the same thing. And actually he even says it in Hamlet. He says, he literally has a thing about how you should speak the language. It's so extraordinary. He just says, just speak it trippingly in the tongue and stop shouting it out and stop doing all that kind of stuff so i think because i started and i didn't train formally i i you kind of have to put your your dukes up a little bit about about um not the way i'm talked about because but the way i the way i suppose not to let my access to whatever i do for a living to be to be um influenced too much

by by the seriousness yeah with which other people talk i always think the word calcify yeah things things harden someone starts using a bunch of fifty dollar words describing your process and what you do they're not doing you any favors no it's absolutely you know and it's nice that they see all that in your work but it's best that you not know about it and they because you want access to anything that's going to make you enjoy be spontaneous see a possibility and not overthink it

i think it's so true and you just keep that alive and the longer you work you know because you're not really supposed to play as an adult do you know what i mean yeah you're supposed to know which is like the opposite of playing right yeah you're supposed to you're supposed to like have you're supposed to have to know the answer and like any of the any of the any of the great adults i think are the ones who are like i don't know let's keep keep learning because it'll be really boring at this stage i mean i'm nearly 30 years acting you know sort of professionally and i want you want to keep being like you know isn't this cool isn't this cool isn't this cool i get to do this yes exactly this is also not to be sort of false in the sense that you go i don't know anything but you can still know things you can still go i my instinct you know you definitely have instincts but actually it's having more confidence in confidence in your instincts like when you when you're doing like you're hanging out with kids and they're playing watching them play is amazing they're not they're not thinking what are we gonna do they just go okay you be the thing you be the thing you start with a my mom did this because she was an art teacher she was an incredible teacher my mom and she used to teach people how to draw and she said when you when you when you um people start to draw they immediately start you know drawing like the most tentative line possible because they don't want to make a mistake yes it's the best thing you can always do when you're starting to draw it's just it's to be sort of loud confident and wrong so start with a really strong line and even if that line is completely wrong and you've drawn over the line you know you've you've drawn over that that line will actually still be there but the people appreciate the mistake yes so yeah you start with a bit of confidence you know the

way kids do that and you can it you can redraw it just but don't not draw but also i mean i did this kind of comedy for whatever almost 30 years on television you know where people come on i interviewed them and there's a band and i would pray for mistakes yeah because mistakes were such gifts yeah and then you get to a point where you're like oh my you know here someone will misspeak i'll misspeak i'll try to say benedict cumberbatch it doesn't come out right we then get off on a jag if you acknowledge it and then it becomes about drunk driving and then it becomes yeah and then it gets called back when we're talking about that's the joy of it and people know instinctively as you know from from doing theater so much of your life there's something about audiences where they know the truth i always think that about making mistakes in the theater

about people were worrying about forgetting lines there's no better atmosphere or there's no more attentive atmosphere than when you think somebody has made a mistake the whole audience is like oh my god something is happening here blah blah blah right and the actors fear is that oh my god everybody's gonna think i'm terrible person but actually what i think the audiences feel is it reminds them that they remembered all the other lines yeah do you know what i mean yeah that's really wait a minute this kid rate is pretty good yeah you know what it means oh god this is this is sort of live so it's kind of all right and once you get over that idea of we making a mistake if you know like otherwise like you know the weird stuff that happens makes it you know makes the day the day you know what i mean and yeah i always think it's weird as well do you like in comedy Do you feel like you guys dissect the audience as much as we like? we do in the theater oh used to yeah yeah i mean i would be uh and we'll get to this because uh you know we'll be talking about this a little later in the interview but it's like the way a meteorologist dissects a weather system i used to you know tonight yeah pretty good now i felt like they were and then you get to be like someone who studied wine all their life and you've just sipped some wine instead of being like oh my god i love this is a great i'm here in tuscany i just had a great sip of you know of pinot noir instead you're like the audience when they first came out they were uh yeah no you know there's enthusiasm but it's kind of a froth it's not now then i would say on the upper right hand that i couldn't get them there was sort of a tentativeness but then i felt like they were a little judgmental you know and you're like shut up shut up do the thing

just do the thing it's like when you go and see somebody in a play it's a lesson i learned really really on when i was really young i started the abbey theater when i was about 19 or 20 and exactly that someone come to see the come to see the play and they were like oh my god i love and i was like we're just gonna get this laugh that we've got you know the thing you know well i wish you'd been in last night but the audience was incredible and this brilliant actor said don't do that don't don't don't don't don't do that because they don't they don't notice i understand that's not that it didn't happen it probably was a greater show last night right but like who cares and when you're in the audience and you're laughing at something you're not thinking god i wish that person in the balcony was laughing as much you don't really care no no even awareness the biggest

mistake of thousands and thousands and thousands of interviews in front of audiences that i've done was a guest would come out and they would start you know talking and saying some of their stories And then they would say, oh, I'm sorry. And this is boring. I'm sorry.

Yeah.

And you could feel the audience leave.

Yeah.

You know, always thinking to myself, that's such a rookie mistake. Don't tell them they're getting a bad show. Yeah. And also in terms of etiquette, after someone's seen you do a show, they don't want to hear you go, I know. I just felt like today. No. They saw you do what you had today. Yeah, totally. And sometimes they love it. They're just not demonstrative. I mean we have this we have this culture now of everybody

everybody's standing up everybody stands for it's too much sorry sorry to be no no no standing ovations standing ovations you cannot you cannot go to anything without being standing it was a terrible worst thing you've ever seen everybody's standing and also

you go to any daytime and also late night show and everybody stands up for everything like you're gonna watch a cooking segment at one of the and everyone stands and i think huh well you know it used to be that an actor could be in the theater or performer could perform most of their life and get one standing ovation and boy did that

mean something yeah because it's a thing because now because it's completely without meaning when you're on when you're on the stage though i say this and then you're like who's that fucker in the fucking fourth row is not standing

because when everyone's standing and one person isn't

yeah exactly you're like but I sort of admire it I sort of admire it because it doesn't mean they hated it no it just means it just means that they they just didn't want to stand up or they're just tired you know they're just tired they're just tired they're drunk yeah arthritic

I have got so used to standing ovations I'm sorry I just have that when someone's not standing sometimes I berate them yeah that sounds right And they're like, sir, I have no legs. Well, that's awkward. Well, you could still lift him, someone. No, he could be, he could have asked to be lifted. You could have come with a lifter. Exactly. If you enjoyed it. But you didn't care enough to hire someone. It's so messed up. I know, it's so messed up. So you're struggling all these things when you're a kid because i'm always interested in this part because it's fascinating to me i do think that turbulence and anxiety and some level of some of that stuff just has to be part of the stew whether you like

it or not growing oh yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure for sure yeah yeah yeah like it's definitely i don't think you kind of really have the other stuff with the other stuff yeah you know you gotta be it's it's not it's not you know it's it's supposed to sensitivity is the word like You got to be, you got to be, you got to be, you can't have one without the other. So I suppose I'm pretty, um, what is it? Thin skinned. I do think Irish people are pretty sensitive as well.

Oh yeah. You know what I mean? I think so.

Soft hearted. I think it's in the culture, um, which I think it allows the people to be so brutal because you know. It's both. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the, it's always all the thing, all the things are both. Yeah. And, uh, and I always think it's, um, I mean, speaking for myself, I'm incredibly thin skinned and then I can be a Viking. i have both in me yeah but and it's hard to reconcile them both but that's what that's what

it is it's exactly what it is and it's it's sort of it's like what you were saying about i think there's something when you're become well known and it's interesting you say about talking to people on the street which is still incredibly important to me that's one of the things that i think would frighten me is not having that access to to just talking to people every day i think it just seems like an awful thing to just be so sort of successful or so recognizable that you have to be in this sort of prison the whole time yeah so not to be able to get out and go have a laugh with people and that's why i sort of hate it's funny that you were saying that as well about when people say oh this is boring like when you talk to people and they say oh i don't have as interesting a job as you you think i bet you do yeah and then you know about maybe not as interesting a job so to speak but people always have a story that they kind of want to tell and so being able to have the access to those people for them to feel like so what do you do and then people tell you incredible things and that's the stuff that i that i i love and i don't know if that's about being irish or whether that's just being interested in people or whatever but um or if it's to do with being artistic i don't know what it is but you know that that that's the that i think is the the thing that you want to i would be very very lost without that's why i mean you've

you've had all this success movies and television and i read that you make a real point of doing theater regularly you love i mean this is something we have in common i love being in a theater

i also love sort of nothing in an old theater if you know what i'm saying there's this extraordinary moment i went to see um the amazing mark rylance and oh yeah in jerusalem i mean there's this extraordinary theatrical sort of trick he did trying to think if there's something here too um so he had a fight for him yeah someone had a cigarette lighter and he was he was um he was playing a he was playing a giant it was about giants it was sort of all about folklore in the english countryside and um somebody had a lighter and he was telling the story about a giant talking to a child and to make this sort of um this theatrical sort of gesture he put this cigarette lighter down on the ground like like here yeah put it down here like on the ground and he sort stood it up he spoke down to this um a cigarette lighter the cigarette lighter and so you immediately in this in the it was in the at the royal court theater you immediately had this sense of scale yeah that's just that's got nothing to do with cgi or you know it's so much um i'll never wash

this pen cap again and he's a real pen washer so i know you love to wash the pens he has he is every time i see him he's scrubbing away

um but uh but yeah that it's just that sort of stuff and the audience go

no it's amazing how when you see someone come up with something like that in a moment and you realize it's all the tools change but the task doesn't so you know you've got but you know what you've got now we have uh ai and cgi and supercomputers and you you can create all these effects and you can put put it in the round you can do all these things but basically you're getting the same effect as mark rylance putting a pen cap on the floor or a you know a lighter and and standing there in that moment um you know you can delight the human brain with the old ways as well as with the new. It's the same thing.

It's exactly true because the audience are going, this is what I find so moving. I never don't find it moving, which I think is why I love the theater, is that adults are going into a theater willfully and people are turning off the lights and somebody is telling them a sort of lie that they know is a lie, a story, and they're saying, tell me a story. So the liveness, the mistakes, and the humanity of it is the thing that really, really delights the audience. And of course, visual effects, I mean, all that stuff is amazing too, but it separates the audience a little bit from the performer. Whereas if someone said, I could, I could do that with a pen if I just had access to my imagination. So actually it bonds the performer and the audience member. Whereas if you've got too much, you know, stuff, they think, well, that's, that's not, that's not something, anything to do with me. That's just something that I can be impressed by, but not necessarily connected to. i don't know it's a it's a it's a so the grand scheme of a big theater juxtaposed was that it just a one tiny human performer is sort of beautiful to me as well you know what i mean

yeah i uh you will keep getting these opportunities to do you know movies and all kinds of projects you want but i love that you're saying yeah this is what i need yeah i need this i need to be in these live productions because that's just it's like touching home base you just got to touch it it is and that's when we did Vanya you know that one of the beautiful things about that was because that's you know Chekhov and very serious high art and Chekhov is so funny like genuinely so funny it's a kind of ridiculous idea that that you that that and it started as a mistake was this we thought there's eight characters in the show and I was reading with the director and the and the the um the writer and we sort of allocated the parts and we were just reading because I was just going to play one part and we were like oh which part might might be and we were sort of playing the three of us were playing all the roles and we sort of misallocated the roles. So I ended up sort of going, wait, are you, and I was like, okay, I'll just, I'll just act just to get, just to hear it. I'll just act with myself. And it was so weird because it was two, the two characters in the play that proclaimed that they were the most opposite to each other. And so it seemed completely absurd that they were, this person was, anyway, that was kind of interesting. And then we were like, oh, maybe we could do it with two people. And maybe actually, why don't you try it with one person? Anyway, the whole thing sort of, I was a bit reluctant because I thought, does that just seem like

let me do it sort of yeah you know what i mean i think the exact quote the exact quote because i

talked to someone who was there was i got this yes that's i know that's what i said well remember

you tried to dismiss us all today and do this alone yes i did i did try and i still think i could do it all i'm learning about the electronics electronics electronics i know you have your electronical systems the electronics over there oh i think that's proof i know what i'm talking

about it uh yeah but but yeah like all that stuff so you see so um you know to do that anyway so

uh why am i telling you this um no because you're you're talking about how it all be expanded to you

playing all these roles yeah so then you do you do all the you do those things so anyway i did all the ended up playing all the parts and like how do you do it to how do you how do you make the audience feel number one that they understand it but also how do you teach an audience about um we had this really fun moment at the beginning because i really wanted the um audience to sort of not feel like okay we're watching checkoff like that's what what do we need to yeah yeah because people are like what do we what do i need to know i mean i i don't is it it's russian am i worthy of this yeah what's the thing so we did this thing where i came out and i came out and the audience was like what the fuck is this going what's this going to be like it's going to play all the part so we did this sort of fun thing it was such a good thing to do where i sort of turned off the house i came out and i turned off the house that's a little trick yeah we turn off the house lights so think okay we're all in darkness now and then i just turned them back on and i looked at them and they're like oh i was like i can see you you can see me this is a bit weird and they're already laughing before they sure before they know you've told them let's don't worry don't worry yeah it's chill yeah chill we're gonna have fun yeah it's fun and i can see you can see me like and i love fucking that up alongside something which is like a great masterpiece here's what

would fascinate me is if you if you're playing that many roles and you go up on a line can you

ask one of your other selves i can apologize can i apologize or do you ever say i can't work with this guy I say that a lot yeah

do you know so one of the great it was actually nearly the best thing about it is if you do go up in a line it was bliss you just make it all up you could just you just go okay I fucked that bit up okay well I'm just going to keep talking because I haven't messed anybody up and then I'll ask a question that isn't in the script and I'll make that person answer it in order to go back to that person

it's kind of amazing it's kind of great

it was great that's right you don't have other actors around you going what yeah exactly what are we doing yeah um i want to talk about this again interesting process now where you're you've made a movie and i was told i could access this movie i could watch it yesterday uh and they said you know it's this whole system now it used to be they just give you a dvd or something or screener um and they said here's this system and this code and then you're going to get this number and you know you're calling different people because i don't know much about electronics and but i know nothing about the movie yeah right yeah i just know it's called pressure yeah and uh i will watch you read the dictionary so it's like andrew scott pressure i'm in so uh finally the movie start i don't know anything about it and i realize oh it's it's about world war ii and it's about the build up to d-day and then i realize your character's on screen and he's being called you this very important job and i realized wait a minute because i'm a history buff i think i know about this oh my gosh i knew about it which is you know the allies are going to launch the d-day invasion to try and save europe they've got the largest armada in the history of civilization wait are you just saying you know about d-day yes i think it must be i do okay and that's the end of the interview I know two things Electronics and D-Day No, but I know

that what i was aware of was that what's the thing that's perilous that they really need to know which is uh invasions over water are incredible almost impossible they usually fail they only work when the conditions are right but it's 1944 you know meteorology is still kind of in its infancy they need to know the weather's going to be okay and churchill says there's this one guy who I think is a genius who could do it and they bring Captain James Stagg in and I'm like I actually know this story not as I didn't know enough about it I kind of knew about it and that's what this movie's about which is a great story to tell yeah it's really a great story to tell

it's a really interesting story it sounds kind of weird it's a movie about the weather

yeah coming soon to a theater near you guys talking about the weather in a room whoa I'm trying to sell it

um but yeah it is it is a quite weird thing but the weather comes into our lives like it's sort of it's all people think oh it's a what a preposterous thing to you know have a movie about yeah because it's sort of like a movie about the weather but it's also kind of preposterous to sort of not have a movie about the weather do you know what i mean like because it influences every our influences every day you know what we're you know what we wear where we go where we're going to have our kids birthday party where we're going to go on our holidays like what our mood like it's it's it's it's something that it's sort of it's sort of changed my attitude towards the weather but how of course they would be thinking okay well if we have to we if we have to land on them on the beaches in normandy we need to know that these um kids are not going to be drowned immediately the conditions are going to they're going to be able to land safely so they need somebody to say this is what it's going to be like don't go on that day because then you'll surprise them um or that would be a good day to go this they'll see it coming on so they had this very particular day that they wanted to do it and this guy very very resolute kind of man um stood up he was a real hero and he was like no no you're not going on that day and

they were like we are going on that day that's the thing the movie gets really i think right the enormous pressure yeah meaning this isn't just should we do the podcast today or should we move it to tomorrow um yeah uh it's close to that second the pressure is similar yeah you don't you have andrew you have no idea what i deal with day in and day out i am eisenhower oh my god and i made the decision today let's proceed with andrew scott and the 40-minute chat and that took balls and go and failed body is everywhere um no but uh you know it was it's this huge decision and it really does come down to the entire unified allied command looking at this one guy and saying well we need to go we need to go now and it's all set and just all we need is you're okay and he says

can't give it to you yeah i won't give it to you i can't and i won't and so he's this extraordinary he's sort of he's not not a particularly affable person and i love those kind of cinematic characters that aren't necessarily nice but are good yeah you know what i mean no he's a very good

man and he's doing the right thing but he is not a people pleaser no it's not and um i'm fast because i'm i just um i spend so much of my life making trying to make sure everyone in the room is okay it was okay and so I'm fascinated by people who just don't give a shit just don't he's here what are you doing no pleasantries stop that no pleasantries people go to shake your hand there's not time for that

well I mean it's great I mean I think because I'm a little bit similar to you as well I think that's again part of the Irish we're both great actors

I didn't catch what he was saying have you seen my Vanya did you see Interscott just said we're very similar hello is this what's wrong with this they've turned it off yeah You got a lying down ovation. People try to actually find lower ground when I finish a play. They went to Death Valley after you performed. Is there a basement here? C-level. I hear drilling often when I, but no, but I, what I loved about it was, it's historically, it's a true story. It really happened. It's something no one's gonna talk about. And people know the one D-Day story, which I understand you were a very small part of Saving Private Ryan.

Tiny was a part of Saving Private Ryan.

Wasn't that like one of your early things?

Yeah, they shot that in the south of Ireland on Curriculum Beach, yeah. So basically just nothing. Tom Hanks rolled over me and I'm like, my sir, please stop. What was your line? My line was, nobody's where they're supposed to. Oh, yes. I know that movie very well. I know that line. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. That's you.

Nobody's where they're supposed to be, but your head gets blown off.

I don't think people cared enough to know if my hair got my head got blown off I would just I would always say I was the guy in green right oh my god

but your character you did manage to shout and it actually made it into the into saving private ryan yeah um the weather is key more on that later you'll see you'll all be sorry you'll see you'll see hanks comes back and he shoots you and you're an american um no it's it's uh i'm i was thrilled it was like i have i knew nothing and it's an interesting story and then i'm like oh this is great yeah this is really great yeah yeah and a terrific

cast also yeah really good yeah brendan fraser and chris mcina and carrie connor damien lewis

great people yeah yeah yeah i i damien lewis says is it he's henry the eighth i believe he's henry the eighth he's henry the eighth uh in um wolf hole yeah yeah he's so good in that because he's genial oh yeah the same thing we're talking about he's genial but he'll cut your head off yeah yeah

yeah yeah and and and smile yeah it's like all those characters that it's i always think that's what you want as an actor is you want whatever you're presenting to be the opposite of what you're feeling sometimes you know what i mean they're the ones that you know whether it's somebody who's a cold hearted is incredibly benign or the opposite do you have people expect you to

kind of walk into a room sometimes be a little bit more sinister because you're so happy for

yeah yeah yeah that's interesting i don't mind that yeah no

your waiter comes right away my waiters don't they're like that idiot can he can um well this has been uh an absolute thrill for me uh and like i say if you bump into phoebe waller bridge anytime soon please tell her of course my list is gotten my my list is almost down to no one at this point but she's on it okay but up to today it was the two of you uh and um so this is a bucket list a moment for me i hope you'll come back anytime um i'd love to come back yeah just and and trust me i am going to get you my clip from not from ross naroon maybe we can we can find it you found it

You don't, you're just, oh my God. Here we go.

The balloons, the balloons. This is just a photo. Oh, that's just a photo. We'll dial up to YouTube here for a second. Look, that's how they dressed me. That's what happens when a hero returns to his country. You came in off the street with that. And the balloons. Incredible. We have the clip if you want to put on your headphones. Yeah, I want to put on my headphones. You'll be able to listen to it. He thought he was an actor until he saw this. Always learning. Here we go. Here we go. the balloon small doorway.

What are you doing? I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed.

I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed.

I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed. I'm not going to get trashed. That is incredible. Is there no Irish word for balloon?

No. No, they just told me to say balloon. But they also, they just went out of their way, and God bless them, because no one deserves it more than I do, but there was no way to be cool in that scene. No. With that hat. That hat. The hats of balloons. And yeah, I remember saying, like what if you know Colin Farrell showed up she'd be like well we'd you know we'd make him the love interest we're not giving him some feckin balloons you know but yeah I was

how was his Irish huh how was his absolutely beautiful yeah well there you go

all the bosses we say in our years hey standing ovation mom Andrew I can't thank you enough just a joy to be with you today joy to be with you guys too Thank you so much for having me. Take care. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. Support for Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend comes from FX's Alien Earth, one of the most critically acclaimed series of 2025 and a Critics' Choice nominee, hailed as a dazzlingly haunting epic by the rap with standout performances from Sidney Chandler, Timothy Oliphant, and Babu Cissé. RogerEbert.com.

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hey let's start a segment i thought that i knew everything about you conan i discovered back in december that there's a way to distract you from anything is that true it's true this is you're being real now i'm being real this is real this is the real me okay um and that is to put you in front of a tv and turn on the hallmark channel oh wait where were we when this happened in new york that's right it was december so it was like the christmas Hallmark movies. I have to say, I am powerless

around a Hallmark movie. I don't know what it is, but I start watching them and then I love to call out what people are going to say. Yeah. And I'm right a bunch of the time. You got it like 90% of the time. I call out lines like, now get back here, young man. And then the person will say, now get back here, young man. And it's thrilling. I mean, it's the same high that a gambler in Vegas would get on. Really? Yes. I get very excited.

And we were going somewhere, Like there was a car picking us up, but we couldn't leave until we found out if this woman quit her job as a lawyer to go build ice sculptures.

Yes. Well, first of all, we didn't wait to find out what was going to happen. That's true. We knew what was going to happen. The uptight lawyer is going to realize that the most exciting thing in her life is making ice sculptures with this guy at Christmas time in their little Christmas village. And I knew that was going to happen, but I had to see it happen. It's one of those things where, you know, I have to see that happen. And I love how there's no Jeopardy. Her mom runs the law firm. I love how this is coming back to me instantly.

Oh, my God.

I'm not kidding. Like, I didn't know you were going to bring this up. Her mom runs the law firm, and she's dreading telling her mother. Her mother keeps saying, of course, and you're going to take over the law firm. And then she's loving making this ice sculpture with this guy, which I think is a loser thing to do. And anyway, I'm sorry.

You just burned a lot of ice sculpture.

This isn't like Timmy Chalamet with the ballet. I went very specific with ice sculpture. And if you've got a problem with that, I sculpt your people. You're doubling down.

I said ice sculpturists, by the way. That was really embarrassing. Can we edit that? No, no, no. I want it in.

I want it. Ice sculptors. Ice sculptors-isms. Anyway, she has to go to her mom and you think, oh, this is going to be the real tension in the show. She goes to her mom and says, I just want to make ice sculpture. I don't really. And she said, this is the line I called out. She said, but it was always your dream to be a lawyer. And I shouted out, no, mom, it was your dream. And she went, no, mom, it was your dream. And I, it was an erotic high for me. Oh, I swear to God, I had to go and shower myself off after that.

Oh, God. And David was in the room with you?

David was in the room, and he saw me go,

Ew, Conan. I tried to call HR, but it was just- Awful Hallmark. We're the only person who does that awful Hallmark movie. And it was exactly this.

It was, she said, but that was always your dream, honey. And I shouted, no, mom, it was your dream. And she said, no, mom, it was your dream. Scrub, scrub, scrub.

Scrub, scrub, scrub.

And then we were off to our obligation. But I needed to see that happen.

Yeah. That and you've texted Sona and I before. I can't remember what movie it was, but you were like, I saw a commercial for a movie on Lifetime. I need the Lifetime app.

Oh, yeah, I do remember that. Oh, I needed my fix.

So I'm just I find it to be endlessly fascinating. I really enjoy it. It calms me down. It I just I'm so happy.

They have a formula and it's clearly working.

Oh, it's very formula.

The formula is so precise and they never vary from it. Someone's uptight. Someone's in touch with themselves. Uptight person. They don't get along. I mean, whatever. We've seen it a million times. Yeah, yeah. They always live in Christmastown, USA.

I know. It's a little too G-rated for me.

I've evolved.

Now, what about this? What if they could make, and this is something, we have a production company, maybe we could get into this.

Yeah.

A Hallmark show that has all of those, hits all of those points and is very much like that, but the sex is really down and dirty. I mean, you see everything, a slam-a-slam-a-slam-a-slam-a-slam-a, a thwab-a-thwab-a-thwab-a. You see it all. So it's like, I didn't know you liked making ice sculptures. I do make liking ice sculptures. You seemed kind of uptight before. Well, I'm not uptight now.

yeah and it's all like double entendre titles like christmas came early and then her name jesus christ sona she was ready to go you had that right away in there it was already in there

i do think these would do well ballmark like jingle ball mark ball mark what like balls yeah like yeah ball you get bald ball mark no no please blades can i tell you something This is really Sona's area. This is not something you jumped in. I'm sorry. Literally, you were just watching Venus Williams play tennis and you jumped in with a racket.

I am honored.

Sona does this.

Sometimes it's not. So like instead of ball mark, I just say bone mark. But it's not that good. No, no, no. You get the point.

No, the thing is. But what about this idea? Be serious for a second. An idea where you, it is very G rated, very, it's the same thing that people are all, and then, but when it comes to the moment where they start to kiss and you just cut to a curtain blowing, you cut to the curtain blowing, but then you pan back and they are both naked. And I mean, it's just a hot pound sesh. It pans over, stops, and then pans back, all clothes gone, oiled up, shamida, bamida, lamida, hamida. And it just goes on for like 15, 20 minutes.

Oh my God.

Yeah, and then they're back to, well, I think we got a new, someone helping us out at the cuckoo clock store. I thought you were an uptight corporate lawyer. I was, but man, we just went at it. And then you pan to the curtain, or you can to the cuckoo clock, but then you pan back and everyone in the store is doing it.

Oh my God.

Yeah, 19 people. The whole store?

Yeah.

The guy that runs the cuckoo clock store, the people buying cuckoo clocks, the guys that make them, they're all naked, banging it, hanging it, wanging it, banging it. What channel will this go? Oh, it'll go on any channel that wants to make money. Any channel would want this.

It's like pay-per-view.

Netflix would take this, wouldn't they?

No, Netflix, I don't think. Oh, they don't do porn? It's like straight up pornography. What do you mean?

I would say Netflix would definitely do that.

Are we talking softcore? Because I've seen everything softcore on Netflix.

You want this to be like full penetration? We want it. Hey, don't be gross. No, no, it's a valid question. No, I'm not an artist. I'm not some animal.

What?

No, I mean, I want it to be very, very, you know. Like you just want butts? No. What are you talking about?

It gets into a gray area when we start showing things. Yes.

Well, that's what I'm saying. Well, Sona and I were just wondering because that's kind of- Well, they could be covered up with, things could be covered up with Christmas snow. What I'm saying is I want to see, no, seriously, I want people going at it hardcore and then, oh, look, some icicles formed near where the penis would be, or there's some snow, or, oh, a reindeer wandered in and it's feeding off some acorns right near their crotches. This is a show. This is a format. This is a lot of money. Get on it. Get on it. This is our idea. Don't try and steal it. Peace out, Tupac.

Oh, we're just done.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. as possible, and that's where Sprouts Farmer's Market comes in. I knew they'd come in somewhere, and I guess now's where they come in. From nutrient-dense foods to proteins to supplements that help sustain muscle mass and energy levels, Sprouts has you covered. And with in-store wellness experts available, guidance is always within reach for any GLP-1 journey or broader health goals. Visit Sprouts.com to find a Sprouts Market near you. i'm just gonna say it there's a hyundai hybrid for everyone there sure is yep the santa fe hybrid suv seats up to seven tucson hybrid suv features standard h-track all-wheel drive the sonata hybrid limited sedan has exceptional performance and handling and get up to an epa estimated 52 highway miles per gallon with the sporty elantra hybrid limited sedan all hyundai hybrids come with first-class safety features, advanced tech, stellar design, and America's Best Warranty. It's a good one. It is a good one. Hard to beat all those stats. America's Best Warranty claims based on total package of warranty programs. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call. I'm going to give you a phone number. Write it down. Okay. 562-314-4603 for more details.