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Hi, my name is Billie Eilish. And I feel really good about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Oh, that's so nice.

It's true.

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend

Joined by Sona Mavsessian Hey Sona

Hello

And David, of course, Hopping Hello And there's been a lot of chatter, I guess, online about Eduardo because eduardo just i guess this episode just dropped where he called me um a little bit and eduardo let's talk about this people it's blowing up people are loving it that you called your employer a little bitch and um and you today it was all blowing up admitted to me that you were

a little rattled after i was i i remember it happening and i remember going home and talking to my wife she'll ask how was work today i was like you know kind of weird and she said what do you mean and she knows the hijinks she's seen some of the videos and i said uh today i think i went a little too far and she said what did you say i said i called

a little bitch she just started laughing oh she tried oh she didn't say oh my god uh that's too far she just started laughing um well you know i looked into it and apparently and i consulted my doctor and I talked to family. I am a little bit. So you are on safe ground here. I feel better.

No, no, no. It just felt weird. You know, I'm not used to being in a workplace. It didn't feel just right in every way. It was a candid moment. Yeah, but that's what makes it work.

It wasn't weird for you at all?

No.

Really? Because I don't know how you guys felt, but I was like, oh, whoa, Eduardo went there. Nobody else felt that?

When you say went there, it sounds like he visited a place that we all know about. He said the thing that we're all thinking, like it's the emperor's, you know, new clothes. Oh, okay. No, I wasn't. I think that's how I. I think you matched my self-image. I think you mirrored how I felt. And I just, so I just felt like I was getting into perfect. I was stepping into a bath that was perfect human body temperature. That's how it felt to me. You create an environment that people feel safe to call you a little bitch in. Yes. Yeah. Hey, watch it. You know, you have to be careful.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Is it because Eduardo? It's only Eduardo? Is he the only one who could say that to you?

Eduardo has, yeah, Eduardo has all kinds of cred. He's like the coolest guy here. Yeah. And he designed the studio. Yeah. And he's, you know, he's not thirsty at all. He doesn't need praise. He's just this guy. He's just Eduardo. he knows he's good so when he says something it has a certain ring of truth

you just insulted everybody in here well yeah except for you I know by praising him

you're the only person in here it's Eduardo and then just a collection

of the worst people I've ever seen. So, no.

You hired every single person in this room?

I didn't hire you. Sona hired you. That's true, thanks. I don't even think I hired Sona anymore. I was interviewing her. She offered me a drink. I blacked out and she was my assistant.

Oh, no. Yeah, you roofied me

and then you became my assistant.

Yeah. It made you sign papers.

Yes, many papers. But, yeah, I do think if, Adam, if you call me a little bitch, it would upset me you know if you said like hey we're going to do this dynamic ad insertion it's a new policy it's serious I'd be like well I don't think I want to do that you'd be like what are you a little bitch I'd be upset you know Blay if you said hey little bitch I'd be freaked out I would physically assault you and David that would be a huge mistake coming from you to call me a little bitch you know in what context would you say it Oh, let's think of a context you'd say. Oh, you'd say, hey, I'm going to see Hilary Duff tonight. And for the seventh night in a row, I'm going to see her. And then I'm following her to she's taking a vacation. And I'm following her and her family. I know where she's staying, that kind of thing. But if you said, hey, I'm going to go see a show tonight and I have an extra I have a third ticket because Dustin and I are going. But Conan, you can come to. and I said, I don't know, it's kind of late and I don't think that's my scene, so I don't think I'll go. And I'd say, fuck you, you little bitch. Yeah.

Oh, God. Well, wait a minute, why'd you add your fuck with you? Why'd you fuck with you? My God, that made me uncomfortable.

That's way too far.

Jesus. What the hell?

I thought it would be like a new personality for me. No, that was awful. That was not cool. Fuck you, little bitch. No, that's not how you do it.

Nobody liked it.

Did you see him go to town?

He did. I think you gave him license to vent and then he vented. Yeah.

Jesus. 10 years of working here just came out. What if your mom heard that? What would you think? We're going to need to bleep that. Is that true? Yeah. She'd be upset, right? She'd be disappointed in me. Yeah. She's a good woman, your mom. Yeah. Remember when I sent her flowers? That was really nice. Because she taught me how to put- After she helped you with your contacts? Yeah. We did a Zoom and she taught me how to put contact lenses in over Zoom. Yeah. And as I was talking to her, corn grew into the window behind her. That's how fast corn grows around your house there in southern Chicago, Illinois. uh whatever and anyway and it was like and then the coring went i'll help too um wash your hands first um yeah talking corn in southern illinois that teaches you how to put contact lenses in exactly got it okay so anywho um yeah she'd be upset if she heard you talk that way to me but uh no you just got mad props from me for you know what you you it was i think it came out of your face because it was so right for you to say it in that moment uh testament to you i i talked to some of my friends like that so i just felt very comfortable you know to uh so can i start hanging with you and your crew maybe what do you guys do when you hang with your friends where do you go depends on what we're doing different friends for different things you ever just drive around in that car that the entourage guys had no no i don't do that suicide doors yeah used to do that. Lincoln Continental? Just hang out, watch the game. Watch the game. Golf. I want to drive around town with you and your friends, and I want to rent the same car they used in Entourage. Let's do it. Can we do that sometime? Let's do it.

Where are you going to go? And play that

Pitbull song on the movie. Oh my god. Back in Time, Men in Black soundtrack. Oh god.

What are you guys going to do, and where are you going to go? Drive around.

Be seen by people. Okay. Just cruise. Yeah, cruise. You just cruise. Okay. And yeah, and then every now and then we stop off, and we get, what do we eat? um some burgers maybe okay some tacos no what'd you say tacos aim higher he's gonna pay

you're gonna get some like steak at michelin restaurant you put a little you put a little

straight it's tacos what do you want me to say you didn't say tacos the way i say it you said it tacos tacos why would he say it the way you say it but if i switched it if i switched it and and said tacos that way would you be offended like it was great yeah you'd be okay with it if i was like yeah i'm gonna get some mayonnaise and then i'm gonna get some ice cream and some tacos yes you're okay with that yes that's cool i'm gonna start doing that yeah maybe with a lot of words like quesadillas and stuff don't say it that way yeah don't say it like that quesadillas say it like he says it yeah quesadillas exactly your voice is going lower too you're trying to

be eduardo that's what you're doing you're trying to be eduardo right every now and then i like to

have sometimes i like to have some starbursts yeah then i like to have some fanta yummy yummy yummy out of a can yeah and then some tacos it's perfect and quesadillas all right you can hang with us you know um yeah i'm gonna we're gonna hang we're gonna drive around like this entourage my god and occasionally get a taco my guest today is a grammy award-winning singer-songwriter whose new concert movie billy eilish hit me hard and soft the tour live in 3d is out now and uh this incredible person was on the show once before we had a blast she's back and i'm thrilled billy eilish welcome we had such a good time last time you were here it was the best day ever it was that's a little

i loved it i really loved it okay but best day ever means you've had a tragic life

i loved it so much phineas was so upset yesterday we were in the studio and he he had seen my calendar and he was like are you doing conan tomorrow and i was like yeah he was really upset he was like can i i know i don't have anything to do with the movie but please anyway so he

i don't know if you remember this is a little awkward but i last time towards the end of the podcast i said billy you're welcome back anytime and then i i don't know what got into it i turned to phineas do you remember this yes and i was like you shall never be here again it was weird

It was very weird and uncalled for. Uncalled for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uncalled for.

No, I love Phineas. He's welcome here anytime. But I'm so thrilled that you were here today. Me too. The first thing that comes to my mind, I might have mentioned this from last time, I think this woman has magical eyes. Look at those eyes there. I mean, you must get this all the time, but- What do you mean? No, what I'm saying, like, her eyes are stunning, Leah. Yeah. But also, it looks like you can look into other worlds with those eyes. I don't have eyes like that. I have like suspicious, creepy eyes. You have like artist eyes that look out and see new worlds. And then I'm like, hi, Billy, how's it going? Gollum, the ring, the ring presses. And you're just, there's so much, right? Am I wrong?

Yeah, no, you're right. They're both blue. Both your eyes are blue. But you're right, they're better on her.

They're better eyes.

Yeah. Say it, it's okay. You have beautiful us too, though, Conan. No, no, no. But thank you for the compliment. Billy, I'm just saying. That's so sweet and ridiculous.

Okay, here's what I was thinking about today. All right? This is what I'm thinking about. You know, I'm going to embarrass you for a second, but the statistics are insane. 44 hot 100 hits, 10 Grammys, two Oscars. And I had this feeling today, it's time to get out. Get a Hyundai dealership in the Valley. Billy's Hyundais. That's a good car. It has a good ring to it. The Hyundai. You know what I mean? It does, yeah, it does. Now listen, your team, you came with a big team. They're going to be mad. It's time to get out. They're trying to open the door now. I bolted the door so they can't get in. They're like smashing at the lock. I just think, just think about it.

Okay.

You with a car dealership, I think you'd be, you'd do great.

I do love cars. Why did you think of that? What made you think?

I think the Hyundai's a solid car.

But why?

I'm just trying to get a free Hyundai now.

Because they sponsor on our show. That's right. They sponsor on this. Oh, is that true? I don't even know that. You say Hyundai so many times that it's turned into your memory.

I just love the way it rolls off the tongue. Hyundai. Hyundai, I'm looking for that car.

What do you, what are the like ads you have to do for this podcast when people listen?

They used to be, when we started out, it was really fun because they were these, and listen, I love these products. I really do. But it would be like a company, a company, there was a company called Fracture. I'm sure it still is. and they would take let's say you had a nice picture of you and phineas together um you would take it to fracture and they would send it back to you and it would be etched into glass and so i used to do these long runs where i would say the other day someone showed me a picture of my grandmother on paper and i ripped it up because if it's not on glass i want nothing to do with it you have to have fracture prints so those are the early days then when the podcast got big suddenly it's these products that are harder and harder to kind of have the same fun with except luxe bidet oh god what the hell is that luxe bidet it's a bidet and um yeah i think you know what a bidet is okay you've been around oh yeah uh and love me a good bidet they would write the most embarrassing copy and it was stuff like you know after a big thanksgiving meal you can do some real damage And it was always to mislead you. And it was, and I didn't know, I started to read it before I knew what it was. So it's on the internet. Where is it? Where can you see this ad? On YouTube, right? It's on YouTube and I lost my mind.

Also the second they did, we love the Lux Bidet people so much, they actually wrote an ad where it started with a fake ad for like a burrito company. Right, and then it turns into- And then he's like, oh my God, is this a Lux Bidet ad?

No, they were tricking me. They were baiting me, but yes, I've humiliated myself.

many times with Everton, but we're not here to talk about the Lux Bidet. Ads, I'm like, which ads do you guys? How happy, can I just say one thing? How happy is Lux Bidet and Fracture right now that one of the biggest music stars in the world is here and we're talking about their products and not getting paid? Yeah, I just wanted to say that. Well, I want to start by asking about your family. How is Phineas? How's he doing?

He's doing great. He's doing great. Okay. He's getting married in August.

Okay, and do we like this person?

We love her. okay her name is claudia she's wonderful they've been together like seven years and um yeah it's

fucking awesome i'm very excited okay are you gonna participate in this uh festivity at all

or is that a secret you can't say it probably is a secret but yes i'm very excited oh cool yeah so he's he's really good we're like in the middle of making an album which is interesting because the last time i came here the only time i came here was like three years ago almost to the day yep and it was also in the middle of a an album process and it was actually i was thinking about this like yesterday it was the day that we made birds of a feather when we came here it was like the morning after we had written the beginning of it oh my god and i remember coming in here and going into that room you and i were just in talking yeah and i remember like seeing some team members because all of my team was here for that because they were so excited that i was going to be doing this everyone on my whole label came and i remember walking in there and going like i think we made a really cool song it's called birds of a feather and i remember playing it for them so with that being said that's really isn't but can I say one thing this is how I remember it we literally left to go finish it anyway this is how I remember that okay you came

in and you were there with Phineas and I said you guys seem to be really tight and you went we are really tight and I said it's almost like you're birds of a feather oh my god I knew and this is what I recall very distinctly Billy you said birds of a feather hey there's something there And I said, yeah, maybe an A minor. Remember this? And then you said, great idea. And you said, let's split the royalties. And I said, okay, let's talk. And then it never happened. I wrote birds of a feather.

Nice try there.

Anyway, that's how I remember it.

Look at that hair. Look at that fluffy hair.

This hair is everywhere. And you know what it is? I left it.

Did you blow it out?

No, I didn't do anything. This is called, yeah, I went to a dry bar today and got my hair blown out because I'm going to prom. No, I let it get a little long for the Oscars and then I haven't cut it. And that was like two and a half weeks ago. And so what happens is it gets to this point where it's perfect. And then if it goes like a centimeter more, it goes. And that's boring.

But did you do it yourself?

I didn't do anything. It's just this is me.

No way. This is your natural hair.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't, it won't play the same way it usually does, where I can get my cool, I call it cool, wave in it. Now it won't do that because it's too long and it's just a big floppy mess.

It's not a mess. It looks like a haystack. No, it looks wonderful.

All right, well, I'm going to stick with this now. Okay. But here's what I also remember. I remember your parents were here. Literally everyone came. There was such a good vibe. And I was talking to your parents for a while. and i felt so good because i thought this is a real family like this is not okay let's pretend to be a real family so we can make it through this podcast you guys were here for quite a while you wouldn't leave nope um and then yeah and um i mean really for like an hour later hour later i think you guys were still hanging out in the kitchen it was really fun it was it was a happening telling you but your parents were um very cool and kind of in a great way unaffected by it all like they seemed like these are people that just want their kids to be happy yeah then i find out i was reading some interview you did somewhere where you said oh when we drive places together we all sing songs you said we're yeah like like a like a family from like the 1950s and like a

corny movie is that true it it was true growing up i probably said it like in a past tense you know like we did growing up we're not usually all in a car together singing like i like that image

now at this point in your career you two will be like well no you and your folks and your brother will get into a car together and i'm thinking a station wagon from the late 70s yeah no that's

That really makes us sound insufferable.

Row, row, row, you bump.

Yeah, literally. But yes, and you know what? Sorry.

Cracked himself up. I'm sorry, I cracked myself up, and that means someone's always laughing. Yeah. Was there a time when you would do that? Because my family never did that, ever. There was no joyous singing.

Was there joyous anything?

We love to be around a ham, chewing it. Chewing it?

like just chewing it and spitting it out like birds. Like it was hanging off a string. We all had a different, we sat at a round table and each one, there was a ham,

there was six hams on six ropes for each kid.

And we would just go, but no, there was a lot of laughter, but there was no singing along or doing harmonies or anything. You can't imagine my dad.

I can't imagine your dad. We weren't fall a lying. It was more. It was more like listening to music in the car and all of us singing along more like that. And the only the only reason I probably said it like that is because my childhood friend used to comment on like how kind of like surreal it was to be around our family because we were all singing all the time. Like singing and like harmonizing with each other and listening to music, constantly playing music, playing guitar and piano. And like, so, yes, music was always being played. But we grew up in the most musical family ever.

Well, I think you have to be vulnerable if you're going to sing with other people. And I don't think in our family we were, we would have let ourselves be that vulnerable. I'm not even kidding. I think it was all about, I guess, Irish people. They're being like super well defended and then making jokes and everyone laughs. But if someone was to start singing, the rest of us would have started throwing things at them. You know what I mean? So maybe I want it to be fall out lying with my parents and my brothers and sisters. You know, it's funny. Yeah. I mean, I do my version. What would you say, David or Sona?

I think you sing. I think you have a great voice. I feel like you're a musical person.

I kind of play guitar and I love to do like rockabilly stuff, that kind of. So, yeah, that's my thing. You did a Newport Folk Festival show not too long ago. Oh, my God.

Well, what the hell?

All right, well.

So your family didn't sing or play music. Did they, were they playing music?

No, there were very few records in our house. Interesting. And the records there were were comedy records. But my parents didn't have, you know, yeah. But we didn't, we were not. And then later on, we started getting our own records when we were teenagers. but my parents didn't have like a big record collection or anything. There just wasn't, we weren't that kind of people.

Right.

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we have something in common which is i don't think you liked your name growing up and i didn't like

my name growing up let's talk about that let's talk about that well tell me about yours uh well

it's conan yes and um that didn't fly when i was a kid why why why people had never heard it before it was before the conan the barbarian comics really caught on so early on people were like Conan, what's that? And then once the Barbarian movies started to come out, I swear to God, everyone was like, Conan, what are you, the Barbarian? Where's your sword? And it was, you know, about 15 years of that. Jesus Christ. Yeah. And so no wonder I didn't want to be vulnerable when I was singing. What about you?

Well, for me, it was, I, same thing. Like nobody had heard it, except if they had heard it. The thing that I would hear every single time I said, my name was that's a boy's name you know every time i talked to any child also like like even adults would say other kids would say they'd just be like billy is a boy's name but isn't billy a boy's name i mean you know kids are like little assholes so they're gonna be like that's a boy you know yeah and that really pissed me off also because i was like i really wanted to be everything girly as a kid like as a kid i loved you know all the things a little girl loves i loved my princess things and my pink things and whatever and so billy just didn't make sense but in hindsight i mean, first of all, I love my name and I wonder how you feel about your name now. I like it. I

think I grew into it. And I think that's what has to happen with your name sometimes. What is the

name that you would have wanted? I can tell you. Okay. Sparkle. I want it to be named Sparkle. Hey, me too. More realistically, I want it to be named Violet really bad. I really want it to be named Violet. I want it to be named Lavender. Oh, wow. I knew a girl named Flower. Like, very specific theme. Sure. Yeah. Oh, also, I, my like, this is such a homeschool-y vibe, but my mom, when she was pregnant with me, like, Phineas was four or three, and he would call the belly, which I was in, Pirate. You'd be like, I want Pirate to come out. So, they had named me pirate like as a kind of whatever and they were thinking and considering naming me pirate o'connell

because this because because this child

pirate's a badass pirate as a girl but but yes it would have been a little tough and also bully central i feel like but at the same time would have been cool but i am really glad in i'm not named pirate um that's some la shit that is some serious la homeschooler pirate is listening

right now yeah literally sorry if you're listening right now and your name is pirate or sparkle

but conan apologies don't you you feel like this because i feel like there's first of all i love my name and also i can't imagine any other name no i mean now i just turned it into i don't know what

I did. Or, you know, sometimes I think that the name can also help influence you a little bit. And so if it made you feel in any way when you're really young, if it made you feel a little unbalanced or I don't really love this, maybe that's a good thing to have if you want to be artistic when you're early on. So it's possible that these names help us or we grow into them and they grow into us. And so I wouldn't change anything now. Yeah. But I really did go through a number of years where I also wanted jet black hair. Like, you know, I wanted like jet black hair and I wanted my name to be like.

I thought you were going to say I wanted my name to be Jet Black.

Well, I would have taken that too. Yeah, that would have been a good name. The name's Black, Jet Black. What do you do? I'm a podcaster, see? That's not too cool. um yeah i would have uh i would have gone with jet black wanted your name to be i don't i just thought you know uh i used to look at sort of the conventional people that were on television or movies whether it's you know from elvis movies or bob crane from hogan's heroes or like any of these people that have like just black hair and they've got that conventional good-looking face and i was like that's how i I think that's a good question.

should look yeah what is it with this crazy reddish coif why do i have this weird name why do i have freckles i hated having freckles you know yeah true yeah i had my two front teeth were dead because i fell in the driveway and they were dead for a while like they died like they turned gray and my our dentist was like when do your other teeth show up just leave them so i went around I'm like, hi, you look real pretty. I had two gray front teeth.

I've got freckles. Were you also ridiculously tall then, too?

No, no, I got tall super fast.

Well, at least you didn't have that also.

Because it's freakish.

But it would be a little bit freakish. But, Billy, I have it now. Yes, but you're famous, and it's, like, fine.

So I'm like, Frankenstein. You're famous, Frankenstein. Be happy.

Well, you don't have the missing front teeth and the weird, you know, hating of yourself.

Well, I still have that. Okay, fair.

But, you know.

Fair. You should hate yourself. Thanks for admitting that.

You have a serious gift, which is this height of yours, and that you could play a really scary guy. You could play—you could be—stand up.

Okay. This is humiliating.

Look at this fucking guy. Look at this one. Look at this. I don't worry about him, too. Give me a fucking break. This is crazy. Wait, so what am I? It's literally so scary. Am I Frankenstein? No, you could be Slenderman. Don't you think? I don't. I can see it. You know Slenderman.

You come in here and you're like, oh, Conan is so talented. Oh, really? My humor, my wit? No. You're freakish, guys.

You could be Slenderman. You have such an opportunity. You have such an amazing opportunity. you could be so scary dude dude dude you could it's during October this year you should come here you should wear something spooky and you should scare these people

okay this is what I'm gonna do we're gonna contrive away I will I will do it and we just have to figure out a way that I creep up on you in the background as Slenderman

do you know what I mean

we just have to figure that out we'll do that

you could play like a skin walker I mean your pants are tight already just get some tighter pants They barely need to be very much tighter. What are you talking about? Their pants aren't that tight.

Your pants are so tight. These are tight pants? Are they? They're very tight. They're very tight. He wore jeggings once. Maybe he goes back to jeggings. The Kardashians dared me to wear jeggings, I think. Didn't they? And I wore jeggings.

You did wear jeggings.

Yeah, that was horrible. There's a reason my children don't talk to me. Oh, God. Okay, so that's great. What an ego boost for me. Yes. My career is going places because Billie Eilish says I could be Slenderman or any freakishly tall monster.

You really could play such a good monster.

Or a zombie and just don't moisturize for a day. And I could play the undead.

All right.

You heard it here first. I'll be showing up at a Halloween theme park near you.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have you guys been to Halloween Horror Nights by chance? Yes. Okay.

Yes. I've done Halloween Horror Nights.

It traumatized me. Why did it traumatize you? Well, I went when I was younger. Did you go recently? I go every year, girl. You do? Yeah, of course I go. Halloween Horror Nights is no joke. They're legit makeup. The actors are really into it.

They chase you out of a house with a chainsaw.

Yeah. It's gotten more PG. Oh, that's weak. Sorry. It's just not, they don't really chase you like they used to. They kind of just stand there and go, you know, and that's it. But anyway, if you've gone recently, they do this thing to kind of make it like a more 4D experience where they they like pump scent in certain rooms, like really gross scent to make you really overwhelmed with the grossness of the. So, like, if you walk into one of the, you know, rooms during the maze and it's like a bunch of sliced up people and whatever, and it'll smell like this, like rotting person smell. It's disgusting. It's amazing. but i i'm not even gonna i'm gonna say bless her soul and i'm not gonna put this woman and shout this woman out but i was somewhere doing something and i was with this woman and she smelled exactly like the horror night's scent and and she kept like i know this woman right and and she was leaning over I was sitting she was leaning over and she was you know doing things and I was literally like and I and because I'm me and I don't think really before I say things I almost was like you know you smell exactly like the Halloween Horror Nights like a rotting court but so yeah so like and I was texting everyone else in the room like doesn't this bitch

smell like the rotting corpse scent that they spray.

I think we can tell people it's Joy Behar from The View. Always smelled like rotting meat. And I love her. I love you, Joy. There's no one funnier, but no one will tell her to her face.

Wait, is this true?

No, I'm just... No! This is how rumors get started.

Yeah, but like the first thing I notice is smell. So if you stink once forever, that's how I will think of you.

I took seven baths before you got here.

Ooh, do you take baths? You can't fit into a bath.

No, I don't. I have terrible... I feel terribly about myself now. When did you become a freak? At what age did you become a freak? You can't have a bath. Does the U.S. Army have to make you a bathtub and bring it in with helicopters?

What are you talking about?

No, I do not take a lot of baths because my knees always stick up.

So you are too tall for it.

I am, you're right.

I'm insulted and you're right. I'm very short and I have an enormous bath and I can barely fit in the fucking bath because I drown. We should trade bathtubs.

We should trade bathtubs.

Let's do it. Honestly, that's why I brought it up. Because I cannot fit in my bathtub.

So you're not here to promote anything. You're here to find out if my bathtub fits because yours doesn't and mine doesn't and we're going to switch. It's way too fucking big.

I literally drown in that bitch.

These are the problems that you have to face.

Do you fit into your bed?

Well, my wife is there too somewhere. It's a pretty good size bed.

You have one of those like shack beds, right?

No, I don't have a shack bed. I'm a human being. I don't have a shack bed. We have one of those things you see in the Poconos. It has a giant, it's a giant heart and it rotates. Every night I put, I put rose petals on it And I go, Eliza, my dear. She's like, no. So no, we have like a, you know, a big bed, but yeah, we fit in our beds and I am allowed to drive a conventional car. I wish it was a Hyundai, but apparently it's not. Okay, I want to talk about, you said something else I was reading, because I was reading up on you. I was like, okay, I want to have some good topics. And you were talking about how you really enjoy hanging out, just like hanging out. And I was wondering, what is a good hang for Billie Eilish? What's a good hang for you? What do you like to do if it's you and your friends and you're just hanging out?

I love to go on bike rides so much. Just with an electric bike. I'm not doing any kind of working out, really, with the bikes. Because also, I live in a very hilly area. So it's a lot of up and down hills.

I'm a big believer in e-bikes. I think they're cool.

I love an e-bike. And I use this company called Super 73, which is these, like, big, bulky. It's amazing. I love going on bike rides. I love going on a dog walk. I love swimming in my pool. I love specifically like any kind of activity that like you might find at like a kid's summer camp, like any kind, like on tour, we'll be like in the most beautiful place in the world. And I'm like, can we please go to a water park or can we go to a ropes course or a trampoline farm? Or like we did a lot of, we did a few like glass blowing classes and pottery making classes.

Well, that sounds like.

I love activities.

You like activities. I like an activity. I don't love that much is playing a game. Sometimes because it triggers some part of my brain that gets worried. You know, if I'm playing a game that I'll misremember the rules or I'll screw up. I know it's a problem. I need to get over that.

Do you like any games or no?

That's a good question.

This is interesting.

No, I don't know. I think I'm just not a games person. And people will say to me, hey, let's play this. I mean, I do games on my own, like puzzles or crosswords or things like that. But when it's a group of people and they say, hey, let's break out this board game and play.

Oh, same.

I'm kind of a little phobic about it. Yeah. I don't know what that is.

My thing is I get competitive. Oh, you are. She's crazy competitive. I don't like loose friends.

Same, but I like that. So that's interesting because I love games and I'm ridiculously competitive. but so you don't like games because you're really competitive.

Because I don't know if you just get nervous. Like it's too real for you. Yeah, it gets too real. Right. And if anybody on my team is just dragging us down. Right. I just want to.

I don't care if they're related to you. I know, I've seen her. No, that's fair. She's one of those people that just, in a blink of an eye, sees red and descends into madness. Yeah.

We're talking about games. You're talking about life.

Yeah.

I'm just saying. We're talking about games. Oh, I was saying you're like a Jekyll Hyde. I think you're a murderer.

No, but yeah, no, I get it. They cross over, you know. Yeah. What about, like, sport-type games? Because we play a lot of, like, pickles.

ball and i get i'm very competitive with with sports activities same no i'm competitive too are you not competitive you're not i'm competitive i try and hide it and i'm very competitive i feel

like that's part i can't play pickleball because i think i'm too tall and this fits into your whole idea that i don't fit in this world but you gotta bend over and like take these different shots and

i i think i wasn't meant for this planet i feel like i feel like you it would help you because you're so tall i mean literally we were playing yesterday and phineas laughed really hard because i and our friend lucy are we're both both very short and we were both just playing one-on-one and he he cracked up because he was like you both are so fucking short that you have to step so many times to get to each side we have to i have to literally run full speed he can't short shame you

that's wrong he sure can well i'm gonna talk to him yeah and maybe i'll only lift the ban on Phineas coming in here. If he apologizes to you, he's banned. He's banned until he apologizes for mocking you. I know which side to take here. Thanks. Um, okay. So let's talk about the movie because the movie's out now. I have a little note that says when this drops, the movie will have been out for a day. Wow. People sure love the movie. Wink. Um, but, uh, hit me hard and soft. This movie is stunning to me for a couple of reasons. One, you co-directed this with James Cameron. That's insane. I know. To have him direct it is insane. Yeah. But then to be a co-director with this guy is nuts. It's great.

It's insane. It was also his idea to have that be the case, which is insane. Like, he, the way it came about is my mother, like, met him through something else. And then, like, one day it came over and was like, oh, by the way, James Cameron emailed me. And I.

Super casual. Yeah. And I was like, what?

But also, like, we have a whole team of people whose job it is.

Your mom can get through all this level of people.

I mean, it was like, he emailed you?

Yeah. Your mom booked you on this podcast. Your team was like, don't you, Conan.

and then your mom's like go over to conan oh god so real but um anyway she was like yeah james cameron emailed me asked saying he wanted to like asking if you would be interested in him filming your movie and putting it out as a or filming your concert and putting it out as a movie in 3d like that was the ask the the not even ask like just like interesting at all like at all And obviously I thought that's the most insane, unbelievable thought even at all. I was like, what? Yeah. And then I got on the phone with him and we just like talked about it. And what was so special to me, I've filmed concert films before and they've been amazing. I've done documentaries. It's all amazing. And honestly, it is a lot of work. And I was not planning on doing that for this tour. And the tour was like coming to an end in a few months. And like, I remember feeling like, oh, this is sad that I'm not going to have this show documented. yeah like i was really feeling like oh that's kind of sad but also like what am i gonna do you know it's i'm not gonna film it i'm not there's nothing really i don't have any ideas for something anyway so it was kind of perfect obviously it's also an insanely incredible thing and opportunity but i was also like fuck yeah i want to be able to watch this show forever this is like my favorite show i've ever done and i was so proud of it and felt just so good up there and it's just it was just a really good show and i i'm like i was so excited so that's like the beginning of it and then like he wanted to co-direct it with me we met he came to my show in australia and then um and one of the the biggest parts of the process that's been really special to me is i like when i first started talking to him i said very flat out like i have no interest in changing the show at all for this i don't want to modify anything i don't want to hear any notes like i love you you're amazing but and he he had like kind of had already made that clear like he felt the exact same way and i really was like surprised by that he was like no i don't

want to change any part of the concert to hit an iceberg about an hour and he's just he's stuck in a rut and then he wanted the naoi people to come in and fight the iceberg but you tell you i'm glad you got him off that because he's so he's so stuck um but here's the amazing thing he always he always loves to and he did this with uh he did with titanic he did it with uh the avatar films he always likes to bring this new technology to it and i'm imagining that i think that

part of what he's doing here is I would think he would say like, wait, I've got a camera that I can use. It's never been used because I know it's in 3D, but I'm guessing it's not in the 3D that I

grew up with. Probably not. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God. Thank God. It's like, it's pretty insane to see like, and I do remember throughout filming it, he would be like, you know, this technology has never been used before like we were using things that literally it was the first time they were used which was such an insane idea yeah and to have james cameron be the one doing that and also like it was very very surreal because we were you know on tour and that's a that's a very normal thing we're all used to being on at this point in the in the tour and like you know he's like i want to film some of your warm-up i'm like okay and so i i'm like doing the thing i always do I'm in my room with my like I'm wearing like boxers and a T-shirt doing my warm up and getting my ankles taped for the show. And James Cameron himself alone with an enormous 3D camera, literally like this, is walking in himself. And he sits like right here in front of me and he's asking me the questions and he's the one standing there. And then there's like four dudes that walk in that are like holding the boom and the lighting. And I just like, it was the most trippy shit in the world. It was just like, what am I looking at?

Like wherever he goes. He's like, hey, James, you can come to our barbecue. And then he shows up and he's got a nine dimensional camera.

It was like exactly what you'd imagine him looking like. Just standing there with a camera on him.

When it comes to snacks, you know what's a real crowd pleaser? Don't even try. I'll tell you.

Yeah.

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There's this moment in, and it's, I've had staff members here who are huge fans who, because I know it's in the movie, but they've also seen it. they seen it on the tour and they talked about it. And I was really intrigued by this because you have this moment where you get, I mean, these are huge shows. You get everyone to be absolutely silent. And that's very riveting to me that, first of all, to have fans that will do that. I know. It shows a real, there's a mutual respect. And I think for you to be in an arena that's filled with that many people and ask everyone to get absolutely quiet and then you create this musical moment with them not saying a word is stunning. And what I love about it is, yes, there's going to be this great technology and there's going to be all these amazing angles, but people also, I think, get to see up close what it is you do that is different. I think that's pretty amazing.

Thanks, Conan. That's so well said and nice of you to say.

But that moment, when did you start to realize, okay, I'm going to go for this?

Well, like you said, when we had that idea in the rehearsal period of the tour.

I really was like, I do not think this is going to work. Like, how am I going to get the entire room to be silent? And, you know, it's not like, you know, somewhat quiet. It's like it has to be like nothing at all because what's happening is in my mic, I am singing one part and then it's looping and I'm singing another part and that's looping and I'm singing another part and then that's looping.

You're building it in real time.

Fully building it in real time by recording. And so. And also, like, because I sing not like very loud, the mic is like pretty hot. And so it really picks up a lot. And there was there was one time I don't know where we were. It was honestly one of, like, five times in the entire 106th show tour of Hit Me Hard and Soft that they weren't quiet. And the only thing that happened was everyone was quiet except this voice. Billy, give me a blowjob! Oh, no. Oopsie.

That sucks.

Now, I thought it was funny. No, no, it is. It is.

But it's also just.

But holy shit.

But also I'm thinking.

And then that was in the loop. And so I'm like. Billy, give me a blowjob! Oh no!

I didn't even realize it got picked up by the recording.

It just was repeating over and over.

Well, it was a number one hit. And now the guy's like, where's my money?

But aside from that one... I'm blowjob Sam! Oh God. Where's my dough? That was literally the only time that really ever happened because their fans are so... And that was just like some guy.

But also, you know that the people around him were like...

Oh, he got... completely i mean it he got shamed by the entire audience and i think like this is something about my crowd and my fans that i love so much which is like their complete devotion and also like their willingness to fight for what they believe in and what they love and me and you know really defend me and like the fact that they are all respectful enough to be completely silent for an entire minute while I'm singing and not make any noise, not sing along, not say anything, not want the attention. Like, it's really, really beautiful. And also, like, I was so sure it wasn't going to work out. I've never tried anything like that. It's scary. It's so scary. And at the first show we did, we were in Quebec. It was the first show of the entire tour, and they were completely silent. And then I was like, OK, well, that's the only time that's going to work. And then it fucking worked every single time except that one time and a couple of times where they were just rowdy and screaming but pretty much for the most part and also like the fact that i was asking them to do that is insane it's an insane request and i was well i think uh i think you have this

turns out he's like a neurologist 44 neurologist uh yeah i've actually led the field in uh cerebral cortex therapy

He has a Nobel.

What happened? I don't know. I had a tequila. I lost it. Oh, God. But I think that... No, not poor guy. No, not poor guy. Not poor guy. We're going to find him. He's also banned. He's banned and Phineas is banned. That's the only two? Yeah. And Phineas. That's the only two, yeah. I think it's a tribute to you that your fans, you know, that guy excluded your fans know you. they know you and they're not knowing this idea of who you are that's who you are i mean that's what i've the the two times you've been here and we're hanging out yeah and i'm refusing to play a game um when you're here i can see that oh that's billy that's just who you are and your fans know that there are a lot of people in your business or just show business in general who and i see it a lot in comedy there's people love the idea of them that they've constructed but that's not really who they are yeah and so i i think that's a credit to you that yes it can work there's a lot of people wouldn't work for because their fans don't have that relationship with them so i think it's really amazing i think it's cool and also the whole concept of so much of show business especially um in comedy and in music is make noise and keep the noise going and people are afraid of I got to keep the energy up. We got to keep it going. And that's so much of it that for someone to come out and say, OK, everyone be absolutely silent. I'm going to try something is very unusual.

I know. And they really play along, which I find so beautiful and also really surprising. And they're they're like that throughout the show, too. Like they're so, so willing and up for anything that I want.

them to do and they it just that's just amazing they're they are so wonderful and I do think like you know what you just said about me being me and that's who they know it's like it's true I think like I I kind of attribute that to starting out at as as 13 you know and being the person I was already which is like always very honest and bold and like says anything kind of I was already like that so I didn't think any I didn't think to do anything else and I was so young I was just like saying anything all the time and being myself like I didn't know who else to be yeah and like I even when I kind of like sometimes wish that I maybe hadn't shared so much of who I am I am really glad that I did and also and that I do because one of my main goals and I talk about this in the film a little bit but like I can't stress it enough that like one of my main goals as starting out was that I wanted to be the artist that I that I would want to be a fan of and that's because I am a fan I'm a huge fan and I always have been and I've always been a super fan not just like oh i like artists and i like the whatever it was like posters and merch and you know if i could have gone to a concert i would have and i couldn't because you know i couldn't afford it but it was like merch concerts or merch i'm like i couldn't go i couldn't no but now you're banned yeah i can't i can't you misspoke once and now that you you're out what the hell i was saying um but i was gonna say that i like if there's one piece of advice that i can give like younger artists or new artists and the thing that i have given to people like if anyone starting out asks me which has only happened a few times like what i would say my one piece of advice actually two is, like, play smaller venues than you think you should or than people are telling you to and get a serious, serious connection to your fans and be your fans' family. Like, that is the number one thing in my career that I will always keep number one in the priority list. And, like, it's all that, that's all that started. And because it was me. I was, like, saw myself in these kids and wanted to do everything that I when I was 12 used to think like oh my god I why can't my favorite artists do this and why why can't they make it easier for us to see this you know and so I've really strived to be that for them and like be reachable and feel like they feel like we are one and like they don't feel separated from me and like I don't want to be known by them

or know them, you know, like I want them to feel like we are friends and that if I'm out in the world, you know, and like be respectful, of course. But but but like when I'm out in the world and I make eye contact with someone like this has happened before and they just like smile at me and I smile at them and they run up to me and we hug like that has happened before because it's just the connection is just there. We don't have to say anything. We just like and and you

don't have to be afraid of me you know that you know there's a there's a part of the movie where you're talking about because you're very tactile you're you go out you you're touching a lot of the fans and you get scratches on your hands from your fans just because they're so excited to lay hands on you and you're willing to do that and i'm thinking it's it's not great that you're getting scratched up but at the same time you're letting them know it's real right like this isn't an act i'm not a hologram image that's been projected i really uh this is who i am this is what i care about you guys are part of my crew and we're in on this together yeah which is i i mean i've always felt that's the way it has to be even though i work in a completely different world i think i i look for any opportunity to let people out in the world know that like it or not for good or ill this is who i am yeah um and such a great quality but i mean that's i think really uh really key i don't know you know there might come a day where you're like enough with the scratching of

the hands you know but yes it's it can be a lot i mean also because it's like the trajectory of things has gotten so much bigger over the years that at this point it's not only fans in the crowd sometimes like it's sometimes it's a little bit like it can be a little bit dangerous yeah but the thing is like i don't want to be out of reach like physically and you know mentally like i want i want them to feel like i am right there with them

And so it's like it's it's a hard balance because for a long time it was pretty easy to do that. Like I when I was first doing shows every single show no matter what I would get off stage walk straight into the audience and meet every single person in the room and like take pictures with everyone talk to everyone and sign anything like I never it would take hours and hours and it would be like hundreds of people and it was like not paid it was nothing I just I wanted to meet everyone.

Well, it's also, it's staying true that that's a real connection.

Right.

It doesn't have to be recorded. Right. No one has to see it. Right. You know it's real. They know it's real. And that's responsible for so much. That's a big part of everything that's happened for you.

I know.

But I mean, it's hard to explain that to people that used to get, when you first started working with me, you would get upset that I would hang out in the crowd so long afterwards. Or was it safe?

Well, when they get crazy. I mean, I'm sure there's been some situations for you where it's been hairy. It's the same for you. It's it's can get scary for the people around you who love you, who care about you, who want you to be safe.

It can get nuts. And I'm acknowledging right now, whatever I've gone through, Billy has that times a million because it's a very different connection. I mean, people it's so what I've experienced is people get really excited, but they they really like some goofy video that I made 28 years ago, which is nice. I really love that. But you have to walk that line now where you can't walk into the arena and say, I'm going to hang with all of you for 15 days and get.

And so it's been hard to figure out how to have the connection with them, but not completely.

It's fun because in the movie, there's a part where you're like literally seeing your fans that are camped out and you're behind a window and you're banging on the glass. And I can relate to you're excited to bond with them. So you're trying to you're trying to let them and they're so excited that you're banging on a window and they can see you and you can see them. It's just nice. I mean, people always try and pretend that this is more complicated than it is. It's really simple. The reason you started doing this is you wanted, you had something that you wanted to share with people and you wanted that connection and it's real. And now you can change the scale of it. You can have James Cameron. You can have futuristic cameras. You can have 15 million people coming to a concert and 8 billion downloads. It's still the same thing. The scale changed, but it's the same thing.

Right. And it's also like with that exact idea, it's like you can have boundaries also. It's like you don't have to. I think I used to give my so much of myself to that, that like I kind of hit a wall where I felt like I lost part of myself a little bit because I'd given so much of it to them. And as much as I loved doing it, I was like, whoa, this is like really affecting me. And I, yeah, it's, and also like, again, when it got to a larger scale, it got a little less human somehow. Like people started treating me less like a human, which I get. It's like seeing Big Bear, Bigfoot.

So Bigfoot, skiing, ski trail at Big Bear.

Listen, listen, no food in my body, just one coffee and an SSRI. Don't worry about it.

anyway hey but this is real man this is you but i mean that's uh yeah that's that's one of the things too that um i see it in comedy people get obsessed with i played an arena and i think i don't know that doesn't look fun like i like it there's a certain magical size where and i think it's it's obviously very different in music you can you music is quite different and I think sometimes comedians get confused a little bit because they think I want to be a rock star comedian and obviously some of them can do it brilliantly I think Kevin Hart can do it brilliantly and Eddie Murphy there's different people that can go into an arena and they're fantastic and then I always think for a lot of us there's just the right size you know which can be uh you know okay 1500 people or something like that but once it starts to get to be more than that it's hard to feel close yeah it's hard to feel close and i do think music is better on a larger scale than than just saying shit you know

yeah i think so yeah i get what you mean though because i had the same kind of feeling for many years i was like i don't want to play arenas because then i'm going to be far away from everyone and not feel like it's intimate at all i feel like for comedy it's like different because you're standing there talking to them so it's like really a harder thing on a larger scale

you start to lose like this if it gets really big yeah and i'm not one of those kinds of comedians but

I think that you might at some point lose that spark of immediacy if the scale gets too big. And again, there are special people that can really do it beautifully. And I think I'm always craving, you know, sometimes when I see that the venue is really big, I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to have that same conversational thing going. But, again, it's very different in music, and I think all comics wish they were rock stars. They just do, and me included. We all wish. We all look at music, and we all kind of try and pretend that that's what we are, and we're not. And then occasionally I'll meet these, like, iconic musicians who are like, well, I really wish I could have a talk show. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Really? You want to wrap it up with Al Roker and go to a commercial? No, I really do. But, well, I'm really excited for you. Hit me hard and soft, and this is co-directed with you, James Cameron. That's insane. Just madness. Because I have offered him a co-directing thing with me many times. Yeah, and he's, so far, no callback. So maybe he's banned, too, from the pod. Um, I'm going to say that I, uh, have great admiration for you as an artist, but, um, I feel a real connection to you as a person. I, I, I'm really proud of you. It's just a weird thing to say, but I feel like, oh, I'm like a, you're probably your dad's age or something, but I have this like pride and like, well, Billy is doing a good job. It's like, well, who am I to take any other than I wrote that big song for you.

Right.

You did. I did. Yeah, you did. I'm pretty much most half your catalog, easily. Oh, wow. I'm just saying. And we're going to settle this out of court. I love the judge asking for any proof. Yeah. And I'm just like, I'm pretty sure she said and then he said. You're just doing bids. No, I'm very happy for you. I'm very proud of you. You're welcome here anytime. Phineas is welcome here anytime. Thank you, Conan. Give my best to your folks. And I just, you're a huge deal. And so you coming in and just sharing your talent and your wit and just your spirit with us is a really cool thing.

Thank you so much. I love coming here so much. I will literally come back as many times as you want.

Well, we have a Hyundai and a bidet sponsorship now. Here's Billie Eilish for the Luxe Bidet. Hi, guys. You've had a huge meal.

but I thank you for saying all of that it's unnecessary and I it means so much to me and you guys are all awesome I love the vibe in here I was just saying the other day that I just I live to laugh and I love when I meet people that live to laugh you know just amazing I hate people that don't laugh just so fucking can you imagine I hate when people don't laugh because it means I don't

get paid and that's it that is my language like when people don't laugh I'm like oh I guess I don't have a reason to live anymore

but it's so wonderful in here that all these people are just we're all just laughing at everything it's just amazing it's good it's just what life is about but thank you for having me and I'm

yeah it was a big we really it was a big it was really big of us to have you I'm just gonna say and you probably didn't see that no it was I thought you were going to compliment Philly. I was like, I don't know. I did say, she's still in the business. I mean, how's it going for her? You were like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I don't know. I pretty much know what's going on with young people. I don't think she's doing so good. I'm an idiot, but thank you for being here. Thank you so much. And say hey to your gang for me.

I will. We all love you so much. And I feel the same.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. talent booking by paula davis gina batista and brit con you can rate and review this show on apple podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode got a question for conan call the team coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message it too could be featured on a future episode you can also get three free months of sirius xm when you sign up at siriusxm.com slash conan and if you haven't already please

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