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Charlie Puth
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Charlie Puth

from Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

May 18, 2026 | 01:06:35 | Comedy | Explicit

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Musician Charlie Puth feels blank about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Charlie sits down with Conan to discuss his worldwide tour for his latest album Whatever’s Clever!, how to change the energy of a room with a single sound, why musicians who make it all about themselves are the first to fall, and more. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com . Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:00:13 | Speaker 1:

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00:00:13 - 00:00:14 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, I do.

00:00:14 - 00:00:37 | Speaker 1:

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00:00:37 - 00:00:43 | Speaker 3:

Oh, God. They went too far. They went too far. Yeah. And you read it. You read it all. Didn't even ask any questions.

00:00:43 - 00:01:04 | Speaker 1:

I just blacked out and this came out of my mouth. So you do your glutes a favor. Shop at a Duluth trading store near you or at DuluthTrading.com. Duluth Trading for folks who work their butts off. Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype?

00:01:04 - 00:01:05 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, like all the time.

00:01:05 - 00:01:07 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, I did that with an all-potato restaurant.

00:01:07 - 00:01:08 | Speaker 3:

Oh, no.

00:01:11 - 00:01:20 | Speaker 1:

Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Sonia?

00:01:20 - 00:01:21 | Speaker 3:

Oh, yeah, all the time.

00:01:21 - 00:01:23 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, LinkedIn has a word for that, bullspend.

00:01:24 - 00:01:24 | Speaker 3:

Bullspend.

00:01:24 - 00:01:41 | Speaker 1:

Yeah. Instead, you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull spend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash Conan. Terms apply.

00:01:44 - 00:01:54 | Speaker 4:

Hi, my name is Charlie Puth. And I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

00:01:54 - 00:02:04 | Speaker 1:

We're going to fill in that blank, and by the end of this episode, you're going to feel, I think the word's going to be ecstatic. Or filled. That makes me uncomfortable, Charlie.

00:02:04 - 00:02:29 | Speaker 4:

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

00:02:29 - 00:02:34 | Speaker 1:

I'm Conan O'Brien, of course, and I'm joined by Sona Mobsessian. Hello, Sona.

00:02:34 - 00:02:36 | Speaker 3:

Very good to be here. Thanks for having me.

00:02:36 - 00:02:42 | Speaker 1:

And David Hopping is, of course, filling in for Matt Gourley, who's on paternity leave.

00:02:42 - 00:02:44 | Speaker 3:

Forever. Still gone. He's still gone.

00:02:44 - 00:02:59 | Speaker 1:

Listen, I respect a guy. He takes fatherhood seriously. I did not. When Liza was giving birth to our first child, I left mid-contraction to go back to work. And I still haven't met my daughter, but I'm told she's lovely.

00:03:00 - 00:03:02 | Speaker 3:

It's very sweet. He's spending a lot of time with his family.

00:03:02 - 00:03:25 | Speaker 1:

It's very nice. Yeah. And that's a familial bond, which is very important. Early on, you've got to do it. But he'll return one day. Until that time, there's much to talk about. So I had a nice surprise, which is I turn on the TV the other morning. The TV's just on in the background. And they go, and coming up, Sonam of Sessian. And it was, what's it called? Good Day LA?

00:03:25 - 00:03:31 | Speaker 3:

It's called Good Day LA. It's on Fox 11 News. It's a local, yeah. People from LA know Good Day LA.

00:03:31 - 00:03:37 | Speaker 1:

It's the thing. And, you know, I was just like, I've got to watch Fox right now. I was just like, I've got to see my Fox.

00:03:37 - 00:03:39 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You love a local Fox affiliate.

00:03:39 - 00:04:02 | Speaker 1:

I love a Fox affiliate. And that's just the way I've always been. And then I hear, we'll be right back with Sonam of Sessian. Yeah, maybe. And you come on and you have a book that's coming out fairly soon. Your first book, which was a smash hit, World's Worst Assistant. I don't see why it was so popular because it's just a book about truth. Oh, my God.

00:04:02 - 00:04:12 | Speaker 2:

about my time being your assistant called the world's worst assistant you wrote the foreword and this is the world's worst mom

00:04:12 - 00:05:02 | Speaker 1:

this one's called world's worst mom it's all about your adventures raising your two lovely boys aka monsters they're lovely I love those guys I love winding them up when they come here to the office I drop everything I'm doing and I chase them around Yeah. They get super hyper. So they're not going to go to sleep for six days. And then I say, got to go. And I go into a recording session. And I always see your husband, Tack, looking like, F you, man. They are plutonium by the time I'm done with them. They are. They're psychotic. I chase them upstairs, downstairs. They chase me. They love it. They love it. So this is you on the news, Sonoma Sessian. And I was thinking, I just I'm sorry, I had to look at that. and think, look how far you've come. Amazing.

00:05:03 - 00:05:14 | Speaker 2:

I grew up watching Good Day LA and then I was on it. But I also, I've never done live television and I had to be very aware of what I talked about.

00:05:15 - 00:05:37 | Speaker 1:

Right, you've done a lot of things with me, but those are on tape and there's time to pull things up a bit if you get salty with your language because you did some time in the Navy and you have a, you got a mouth on you, sister, right? And so I was amazed at how professional you were. Yeah. Almost like you took classes. What do you mean?

00:05:37 - 00:05:38 | Speaker 2:

Like media training classes? Yeah.

00:05:38 - 00:05:59 | Speaker 1:

Have you ever done that? Do you think I've done that? I don't know. You have this ability, which you've always had, to appear like a normal person when necessary. You know what I mean? Like you're very charming and you're not dropping F-bombs. You're not telling raunchy stories. you are just this glowing

00:05:59 - 00:06:20 | Speaker 2:

sometimes when I was working for you as your assistant there were times when we had to interact with like actual real people like professional decent people right and so you have to like you have to switch it up we can't be like oh fuck you fuck you in front of like you know Michelle Obama or like her people I hope not

00:06:20 - 00:06:24 | Speaker 1:

but we can't do that

00:06:24 - 00:06:51 | Speaker 2:

so it's you know you have to be good yeah and professional yeah and so yesterday i was on the news i was on the news and i was following manny pacquiao which was crazy yeah yeah he was on before me and i uh and yeah i had so much fun and those women i was on with one of whom is my friend aroxia and then the other two anchors everyone was so professional they're so like cool they're fun they look great i don't mean to

00:06:51 - 00:07:01 | Speaker 1:

insert myself in a situation but don't you think in a way they had you on to kind of get to the big dog do you know what i mean like was there anything like oh so you're here son of that's

00:07:01 - 00:07:08 | Speaker 2:

great is he coming oh they think like you come with me yeah and then you would just replace me

00:07:08 - 00:07:18 | Speaker 1:

no not replace you but you have to look it's just got to be a thing in your life where you have to be a little suspicious that people maybe you're if someone's being nice to you oh

00:07:18 - 00:07:28 | Speaker 2:

it's just to get to the guy okay the guy listen you're doing bits about this but you're also right You're right. I'm not doing a bit. Everyone comes to me to get to you.

00:07:28 - 00:07:33 | Speaker 1:

Okay, but you know that I'm going to get a call tomorrow from Good Day LA and they're

00:07:33 - 00:07:46 | Speaker 2:

going to be like, well, um, Sona was on, so I guess now your turn. Well, yeah. Right. Well, it's kind of like you're at a feast and there's like scraps falling and I'm like, yay, I get to eat.

00:07:47 - 00:07:50 | Speaker 1:

You just likened yourself to an animal under the table.

00:07:50 - 00:08:01 | Speaker 2:

but i've always been a barnacle on your cruise ship and i'm fine with that and i love it and i get to do things like go on good day la and that's what i'm saying i don't know what i'm

00:08:01 - 00:08:14 | Speaker 1:

gonna say barnacles are necessary they serve a function what i don't know what it is i know they have to be scraped off religiously they do uh but they must serve some function

00:08:14 - 00:08:30 | Speaker 2:

no they don't that's the whole point you have to scrape them off well then you're a barnacle Okay. And you know what? It's cool. I feel like I'm a con man. I have done the perfect grift and I'm cool with it. I am perfectly happy. Well, I will say I've blown up. I mean,

00:08:30 - 00:09:10 | Speaker 1:

every time I see it's Sona, every time I see this Sona out in the world, I'm very impressed. You, you, you, you look great. You're very engaging. You're funny. And the thing I've always said about you is you don't change when the camera's on you. You don't change when you're in here being on the podcast. You don't change. I swear to God, if I made you come out with me at the top of the Oscars, you would be Sona. Yeah, I mean, that is a gift because most people I know hardly anyone. You might be the you're the most natural person in every situation. That's pretty

00:09:10 - 00:09:25 | Speaker 2:

cool. Thank you. And, you know, a few weeks ago, I did a keynote speech at the Writers Workshop in Dayton, the Irma Bombeck Writers Workshop, I wrote a speech. And I remember I sent you a text because you're doing the Harvard commencement speech this year. And I was like, if you need

00:09:25 - 00:09:38 | Speaker 1:

help, I'm right here. You are a speech champion. I am a speech champion. You are a speech champion and you bring that up a lot that you're a speech champion. I bring it up every, almost every day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. A huge impact on your life. Kind of. Yeah. I mean, I'm doing this for

00:09:38 - 00:09:43 | Speaker 2:

a living, which is just talking. This isn't, couldn't be a living. This is my living. This

00:09:43 - 00:09:59 | Speaker 1:

this is literally my life you get paid as my assistant do you still get paid as my assistant yes i do oh my god oh my god oh my god back in october i had to go to a wedding she covered me for two days

00:10:00 - 00:10:05 | Speaker 3:

I covered him for two days. Remember? Yeah. We went to the eye doctor. That's why you pay me.

00:10:05 - 00:10:06 | Speaker 2:

Why did you go to the eye doctor?

00:10:07 - 00:10:08 | Speaker 3:

Why did you go? You went to the eye doctor.

00:10:08 - 00:10:26 | Speaker 2:

Your eyes were like watering. Oh, that's right. They were watering. And then it turned out they said, you're having an emotion. That's how repressed I am. I said, my eyes are watering. And then anything happened? Well, you know, my parents died last year. And also this sad thing happened. And they said that's called crying.

00:10:27 - 00:10:31 | Speaker 3:

But I do things sometimes. I don't. I actually don't. I don't do anything.

00:10:31 - 00:11:03 | Speaker 2:

That's an incredible, and this is, we have just, we just, I just saw this rock. I was walking through the forest and I saw this rock and I just lifted it up and I saw, scandal, depravity, injustice. And I quickly put the rock down, but if you think we're not revisiting this rock and lifting it up again, you're sorely mistaken because this is a scandal and I want, I want Sue Lane in here. I want Syrah Fedorovich in here. I want to open the books on this thing because I think you're committing a crime.

00:11:03 - 00:11:18 | Speaker 3:

How dare you? I was your assistant for 20 years. How dare you? How dare me? The fallout from being your assistant has been that I am attached to you for the rest of your life. So for the rest of your life, you're paying me to be your assistant. Even though I'm not assisting you.

00:11:18 - 00:11:24 | Speaker 2:

I'm going to investigate this. I'm going to get into the weeds. This is a crime. This is a crime at every level.

00:11:25 - 00:11:25 | Speaker 3:

It is.

00:11:25 - 00:11:31 | Speaker 2:

And we're going to have to figure out, I mean, yeah. I mean, unbelievable. Unbelievable.

00:11:32 - 00:11:38 | Speaker 3:

I still get notifications when it's someone's birthday. I don't do anything with the notifications, but I get them.

00:11:38 - 00:11:58 | Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah? Did you get a notification about this Saturday? My fucking birthday? Hey, I think the barnacle should learn the birthday of the cruise ship it's been hanging out on. You had no idea. Oh, I get notifications about important birthdays. Oh, yeah. How about this Saturday?

00:11:58 - 00:12:13 | Speaker 3:

Oh, I mean, yeah, just remember, you don't need a notification because it's just, it's there. I always know it. I have it tattooed on my leg. Oh, yeah.

00:12:13 - 00:13:04 | Speaker 2:

April 18th. Okay. Thumbs up. All right. Listen. Shut up, Blaise. Wow. We've exposed so much crime. The rot goes deep. The rot goes deep. All right, my guest today is a singer, songwriter, whose fourth studio album, Whatever's Clever, is out now. Very excited to chat with this gentleman. Charlie Puth, welcome. Is this a first? I think after 35 years of doing this podcast for the first time, our guest, Charlie Puth, has a keyboard in front of you, which is really cool and may become mandatory for everyone I may just say even if they most people won't play the keyboard but I'll insist that it be there and that they take a few stabs at it

00:13:04 - 00:13:04 | Speaker 1:

yeah

00:13:04 - 00:13:12 | Speaker 2:

it kind of colors my words a little bit more like if I'm if I have like a really good idea oh if I'm introspect

00:13:12 - 00:13:14 | Speaker 1:

okay

00:13:14 - 00:13:21 | Speaker 2:

let me let me ask you something what if I start to speak and things get menacing I'm gonna switch it to the piano yeah let me tell you

00:13:21 - 00:13:35 | Speaker 1:

something Charlie oh yes I don't like you, and I don't like what you stand for. I've never liked these musicians, these prodigies, and I'm going to kill you.

00:13:39 - 00:14:59 | Speaker 2:

Now let's have it get happy. And then I don't get killed. Wait a minute, I'm off my meds, but now I'm back on my meds again, Charlie. Because now we're in C major, and you don't end up killing me. That's good. See, I'm in it now. You're in it now. Lovely to have you here. There was so much to talk about. You're on fire at the moment. You've got this great album out. Thank you. And I'm very excited to have you here because I just want to talk about something. First of all, it's called Whatever's Clever. First of all, this is crazy, but one of your tracks is Don't Meet Your Heroes, and yet here you are. High five, Sona. I don't know. Holy shit. I had to. I love I Used to Be Cringe. I was listening to that. That actually might be my favorite song on the album. it's a really good song and you talk about how is that yes i don't play more than six seconds of a song but i'll let you play i'll i'll give the rights to you or whatever the fuck it is wait a minute you just gave me the rights to a charlie pooth song you idiot and that's a verbal contract that's what i'm gonna my new scam is going to be getting you know billy eilish in here getting taylor swift in here getting sabrina carven here and then having them blurt out okay you can have the rights and then overnight i've got seven yachts strapped together i don't know

00:14:59 - 00:15:00 | Speaker 1:

if i used to be

00:15:00 - 00:15:36 | Speaker 2:

cringe is gonna give you seven yachts but i really like it um i identify with the song though mine would not be past tense i remain cringe well mine isn't past tense either uh and then i love this one of my favorite people was jeff goldblum you have a collab uh with jeff goldblum on a song called until it happens to you and i thought oh because i know jeff's a musician this is going to be jeff playing when you get to his part which would normally be like rap or singing a solo part it's him talking and it's fantastic it's it's a great uh 10 cc

00:15:36 - 00:16:20 | Speaker 3:

shot of pure gold bloom in the song he's like well boys if if if i were to tell you that kind of sounds like how we're starting that's good though that's good yeah but like it's a song about um reacting to losing a loved one and it's it's kind of it's kind of like a disguise and like Very happy, very happy chords, but it's just like, it's about death. It's about death. And Jeff Goldblum, like, well, he made us all cry in the studio because he just, like, started speaking to his kids who weren't there, but, like, speaking to us like we were his kids. And it felt like the end of a movie where the credits kind of slowly trickle down and everyone's walking away into the sunset down the yellow brick road.

00:16:21 - 00:16:45 | Speaker 2:

I liked, first of all, it's Goldblum who's got the most distinctive. and he's up there with Christopher Walken and a couple of other iconic people who have such a distinctive way of speaking. And it's almost the part of the song where someone would scat and he is kind of scatting, but it's, then I realized that's just how Jeff Goldblum talks. Just, let me tell you something. Yeah. And he's doing that and you realize that, oh, this is a version of jazz.

00:16:46 - 00:16:56 | Speaker 3:

What is, and it's just the way Jeff Goldblum talks. Absolutely it is. And I, you know, I strive to find the most melodic people on anything that I, any project that I make. Yes, I'll do it.

00:16:57 - 00:16:58 | Speaker 2:

Wait, I'm sorry.

00:16:58 - 00:16:59 | Speaker 3:

That was my next question.

00:16:59 - 00:17:12 | Speaker 2:

I thought that was an invite. I've got the rights to one song and now I'm going to be in another song. This is the worst day for your career ever. Spending a lot of money. I said you were on fire and you are, but it ends here.

00:17:13 - 00:17:14 | Speaker 3:

I'm like negative like $26.

00:17:19 - 00:18:07 | Speaker 2:

I've got to mention, we'll talk more about the album in a second but um and when i say a second i mean towards the end of the interview um but you killed the national anthem and you must be getting at the super bowl very hard song to sing it is it's a very hard song he said being a comedian not a musician but i've always heard the trick is and the rocket's red glare takes such a big leap who owns the national anthem i'm sure trump has it now but no he bought the rights like six weeks you know when no one was looking but what what i've always heard the secret is to start low well that's what i would do i would be like oh say okay i would start down there so you're doing it in c major oh say can you so then when i go up to have the

00:18:07 - 00:18:13 | Speaker 3:

rockets red i can you'd have to go octave up from oh oh actually no you're correct yeah i have

00:18:13 - 00:18:28 | Speaker 2:

i was right wasn't i oh say can you see and the rocket's red glare what do you have to feel so patriotic yeah in this moment well i mean

00:18:28 - 00:18:38 | Speaker 3:

visually if i can represent the reason why it's hard to sing is because like you start if you're going to start here and then you have to go here and then you have to actually go yes up here at

00:18:38 - 00:18:51 | Speaker 2:

the middle end of at the end of the song so you don't get a break when i see someone start the national anthem too high oh say i'm like you're dead you are dead yeah and i say that i start

00:18:51 - 00:19:03 | Speaker 3:

screaming at the tv you're dead yeah because then you have to awkwardly change keys um nobody comes to mind because everybody nails the national anthem obviously but oh i bet you have some

00:19:03 - 00:19:10 | Speaker 2:

no everyone's great you seem like too nice a guy but you know I know in your head right now there are some names of people

00:19:10 - 00:19:11 | Speaker 1:

we're all thinking of

00:19:11 - 00:19:13 | Speaker 2:

but you're correct when you start too high

00:19:13 - 00:19:14 | Speaker 1:

what's that specific one go ahead Sona yeah

00:19:14 - 00:19:15 | Speaker 3:

what's that

00:19:15 - 00:19:16 | Speaker 1:

Fergie

00:19:16 - 00:19:22 | Speaker 3:

I'm trying to get off the exit here yeah you're fine I'm the one who said it you didn't say anything Charlie

00:19:22 - 00:19:23 | Speaker 1:

and I didn't say anything

00:19:23 - 00:19:23 | Speaker 2:

what are you saying Sona

00:19:23 - 00:19:29 | Speaker 1:

Fergie she famously went crazy she went buck wild with the star spangled banner

00:19:29 - 00:19:30 | Speaker 2:

did she start too high

00:19:30 - 00:19:33 | Speaker 1:

I don't know don't ask me man don't ask me I don't know.

00:19:34 - 00:19:36 | Speaker 2:

I think this is Sarah Ferguson, the duchess of yours.

00:19:36 - 00:19:39 | Speaker 1:

Yes. Sarah Ferguson. Okay.

00:19:39 - 00:19:41 | Speaker 2:

Well, she had no business singing the national anthem. I know.

00:19:41 - 00:19:42 | Speaker 1:

I agree.

00:19:42 - 00:19:56 | Speaker 2:

London Bridge is a fantastic. And again, not it stays stays in a restrained range. If I'm ever asked to sing the national anthem and I know it's it hasn't happened yet. It's coming. I'm still very young in my career.

00:19:56 - 00:19:58 | Speaker 1:

It's coming. It's coming.

00:19:58 - 00:19:59 | Speaker 2:

Thanks, Charlie. I will start.

00:20:00 - 00:20:09 | Speaker 1:

I will start low. I will start low. Yeah, but you are correct in your assessment. You don't want to start like, because then you have to go.

00:20:10 - 00:20:13 | Speaker 2:

I wonder how high I could start and still hit it.

00:20:14 - 00:20:42 | Speaker 3:

Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light what so oddly we hear in the lances of the evening there is certain what's ours of us have all today. Oh, ha, ba, ba, ba. Be best, say, ba, ba, shabba. Here we go. a modern day mini ripperton

00:20:42 - 00:20:50 | Speaker 2:

you know what you ran out of keyboard there and i saw you pull some extra white keys out of your

00:20:50 - 00:20:59 | Speaker 1:

pocket and glue them i had to i had to really drive the shit up i thought you got really loud there for a second uh yeah it's insane it's insane but it's kind of like a cross between

00:20:59 - 00:21:20 | Speaker 2:

tiny tim and like freddie mercury how dare you yeah yeah it was it's a very good musical analysis i had my testicles removed six weeks ago in preparation for this interview and i'm told they might be able to reattach them might if they can find them see you don't get

00:21:20 - 00:21:28 | Speaker 1:

stuff like this in santa barbara where i live you have to come to you got to come to hollywood for

00:21:28 - 00:22:33 | Speaker 2:

this shit you know what i love um charlie there's a you perform a great service which is i just want to make sure i get the title right yeah professor pooth tiktok series you have this tiktok series that i enjoy because i'm an amateur um musician and i like to play around with guitar and i like to try and make music with other musicians in my way. A lot of qualifiers there. You're a musician. You're downplaying it. Well, I, I love doing it. It's a big part of my like private, uh, hobby life, but I've always been phobic about theory and, and I've, I was phobic about math when I was a kid. And when people would bring up math, I would think I'm not smart. I can't do this. and I would shut down about math. And I'm the same way when people bring up theory. I love to mess around on the guitar. And then when someone says, well, that's interesting, that's the relative minor. So you can take the relative minor, but remember, if you play the flat, remember, there are three flats, I just black out.

00:22:33 - 00:23:31 | Speaker 1:

I do too. You do, really? Absolutely, I do. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I remember there's a, you know, solfege do re mi fa se la te do. That is put in place so you can know, it's like a it's built as a reference for singers so like doe oh now it's a toy piano sound yeah good job schroeder this is c is doe and then fa is f but i don't need doe fa like it's it's an extra effort for me to remember that i just know it's c and f so i would go to my teacher and be like i don't know how to read solfege she was like well you have to know how to read solfege you're in fucking solfege class i don't like the way this teacher talked to you yeah and i was like if you don't know how to read it properly you have to go to Soulfish 3 but like and I would hold up the piece of paper but like I can sing and play back every note perfectly because I don't need the reference I have it in my head she said it doesn't matter you have to go back to 3 so I share that with you where I would get nervous

00:23:31 - 00:24:55 | Speaker 2:

I love a turkey sandwich you do boss always have yes I'm just gonna come clean I know there's a lot of chatter out there on the internet We hear Conan may not love turkey sandwiches. I do. I love turkey sandwiches. Clear that air. And you know what? This is something, it's been true of me all my life. My mom always kept mayonnaise around and I would put it on everything. I love mayonnaise. Yeah, you do. I would put it on furniture if I could. What? Like a nice set in it? It just, don't get too specific. Okay. And you know what? Hellman's real mayonnaise makes your sandwich taste so good, okay? So it doesn't matter. everyone has their different sandwich preferences. People argue about these things. What kind of meat they like in their sandwich. I like turkey. Hey, I like corned beef. Yeah. We can never be friends. Well, guess what? Fight. There's one thing that's non-negotiable. Yeah. Hellman's mayonnaise. Yeah. It's made with real simple ingredients. Hellman's real mayonnaise doesn't just go on a sandwich. It makes the sandwich. Yeah. Oh my God. Hellman's. It's sandwich time. Pettivity is an ecosystem of smart devices and at-home health tests that help pet owners provide a new standard of care to the pets they love. You have a dog, Sona.

00:24:55 - 00:24:56 | Speaker 1:

I do. She's very special.

00:24:57 - 00:25:00 | Speaker 2:

I have two dogs and three cats, so this could be interesting.

00:25:00 - 00:25:27 | Speaker 3:

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00:25:27 - 00:25:56 | Speaker 1:

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00:25:57 - 00:26:42 | Speaker 3:

you have this great you know i use the term origin story a lot on the podcast but you have this moment you're interested in music clearly and you know you have a facility with have i made it clear well there is a keyboard in front of you which al pacino did not have um but you uh you went to catholic school i did yeah you had a moment in catholic school when is this correct an organist someone who who played the organ for you guys at you know you know at a mass or something wasn't present do we have an organ sound i don't think we do but yeah did we get

00:26:42 - 00:26:51 | Speaker 4:

you this or did you bring it i brought it just because it has my initial cp on it very nice it's not my piano i just um yeah it's it's tiny enough where it's not super that self-involved that you

00:26:51 - 00:26:57 | Speaker 3:

need your name on everything very narcissistic okay i saw your license plate on your car when

00:26:57 - 00:27:46 | Speaker 4:

you drove this pooth rules yes pooths in here yeah but yes the church organist didn't show up and they were going to play it um it was the time of uh life where they would play things on tape i don't know if that exists anymore but they were going to play the whole mass on tape and awkwardly pause it and something they sometimes wouldn't pause it correctly and and then i was I know the whole mass from memory. I've heard the songs so many times because I thought it was like, if you look at a cup with a deer on it, you're going to remember what the deer looks like. If you have a bit that you have to memorize, if you read it enough, you're going to remember eventually. If you read it enough times, I thought that was the same thing for everybody, just with sound. And apparently it wasn't typical. And that's how I discovered it.

00:27:46 - 00:28:08 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, that's a, it's funny that you, you thought, well, wait a minute. Okay. The organist is in here. The person who was supposed to play, but. How can I make this about me? Yeah. Well, I would do that, but then have nothing to back it up. Um, but you thought to yourself, I, oh, I've heard these a bunch of times, so I'll just go up and play them. And you didn't

00:28:08 - 00:28:34 | Speaker 4:

know that was unusual. No, I didn't. Because again, I thought it was just like, if you study for a vocabulary test if you need to memorize the definition of whatever and not the word whatever I know what actually what is the definition of any who you read it you read a bunch of definitions you're gonna memorize them because you heard it so many or read it so many times I attribute it the same feeling with sound if I hear a James Taylor song 10 times I'm gonna

00:28:34 - 00:29:04 | Speaker 3:

know it right away right it endlessly fascinates me that's why I fascinates me too I love your tick tocks i really love your tick tocks because and this is where it all started i love when you explain something that i've been hearing and it's around but now you're explaining why so many songs sound like this i remember watching one i forget what it's called but that whole trend in music where there's a a soft and a loud a soft and a loud and a soft and a loud oscillating and it's

00:29:04 - 00:29:08 | Speaker 4:

become such a side chain compression side chain compression which we

00:29:08 - 00:29:16 | Speaker 2:

yeah and it's that was so cool yes i'm sorry do you want me to do it again oh no no you mean

00:29:16 - 00:29:21 | Speaker 3:

what charlie was doing she meant what charlie was doing musically was the one you were interested

00:29:21 - 00:29:25 | Speaker 2:

that's what i like were you trying to beatbox no what were you doing i was choking on a chicken

00:29:25 - 00:29:59 | Speaker 3:

bone okay that that makes sense but so no but what you were doing was you start explaining what that is and i realized i have heard that a million times and in you it's always associated with like a club it's in like every uh you know episode of euphoria there's people crying crying with uh lots of makeup and it's like whatever you do it please i don't want to do it again sounds like a peaking distress or something sona i don't understand you really love this when i do this that's exactly please you do it please charlie i beg you

00:30:00 - 00:30:33 | Speaker 2:

So everybody understands, like, if you went up to someone on Larchmont right now and was like, what does dance music sound like? They would go, they would put their hands, if you're in New Jersey, they would put their hands in the air. They'd be like. Oh, that's cool. But my goal is to, so everyone knows that that's like, you know, the broad terminology of like what dance music sounds like. But my goal is to like take it one step further for people, for them to understand that all that is, is just volume automation. You know, like. Right. That's me playing a scene. rising falling rising falling and it's just volume down volume up volume down volume up

00:30:33 - 00:30:47 | Speaker 1:

but then what's cool is you talk about how a lot of people would think okay that's in club music now yes it is but you'll say well they were doing it in the 70s with or in the 60s with this then the 70s they you know Donna Summer and Donna Summer it wasn't as obvious

00:30:47 - 00:30:54 | Speaker 2:

though it was just more of like a way to it was more of like a really secret engineering trick

00:30:54 - 00:31:26 | Speaker 1:

right a little spice that they're putting in and not telling anybody and then everyone exaggerates it more and more and more it's like in so many other things in music you can hear something's going on in sun session records in the 19 in 1954 55 and it's now we can say well it's kind of just sounds kind of very much country but at the time it sounded very different to people because and then people just kept tweaking it and tweaking it and it became yeah you know i mean

00:31:26 - 00:32:13 | Speaker 2:

everybody wants more of what they like so yeah like when i first heard uh the black album metallica like sad but true the really bright 90s large like a motorcycle fucking like metal uh kind of kind of sound then i started here that that came from or might have been inspired by like living on a prayer bon jovi or like another lang record where they were experimenting well but where did what came before living on a prayer uh i'm generalizing like in the air tonight phil collins big peter gabriel phil collins gated drum sounds yeah everything you can trace the thing cool thing about music is that you can trace everything back to something yes and that's the thing that's true

00:32:13 - 00:33:05 | Speaker 1:

of my business has been comedy and it is so important for people to know no one's coming along on with a fresh slate everybody is is coming to their call it a craft call it a pastime call it a career whatever they're all coming to it with this gumbo that they grew up eating you know that was just a mix of so many other influences and everybody's starting with that so you could you know you could say oh my god the i like the most hardcore thrash metal yeah but those guys will tell you well actually i was listening to you know reo speed wagon in high school and you'd be like wait a minute reo speed wagon and i'm making this up because i don't think that's possible no but i like but you know i mean it they heard something in that that then they extrapolated and

00:33:05 - 00:34:08 | Speaker 2:

pulled out and got to where they wanted to go like do you remember the first time you ever saw i guess the video or the uh of like kinnison at uh danger fields like when he just got up there and started yelling yelling yeah yeah had anybody done that in comedy before where they just like i just got back from a seven i was saying marble like like i dice had his like you know cigarette behind the ear kind of like yeah stick and everything like that but like where did that come from the netty murphy thing did that come from a like they're brian regan not cursing at all in his in his bits i don't know if you're enemies of these people or no i hope you're friendly with all of them you've not named an enemy yet but if you keep going no i don't i don't have enemies um i would listen to like 2005 dane cook where he's cursing all over the place but then i'd hear like a couple years prior brian regan where he wasn't it was like maybe he was listening to that but just like added in the curses for like extra effect like i i think a lot of comedians are also musicians too because i think that there's a lot of parallels what we

00:34:08 - 00:35:27 | Speaker 1:

talk about this a lot uh i bring it up a lot because it fascinates me everyone in comedy uh envies musicians i believe whether they consciously or unconsciously do it i very consciously um envy musicians because i i always look at a musician as um someone who's not judged moment to moment and i envy that but but that's not right well no but but not what i'm saying moment to moment i mean when you start and you play one of your songs people aren't playing i like this part oh no no i don't like that part oh but i like this part again oh but i don't like this part now that's not how they think about music um and that is very much comedy is moment to moment like you get a laugh and then you you do another thing and like less of a laugh and And then sometimes like, oh, and then like, oh, yeah. And. i don't think that happens in music and i think i've always envied if you go out and play your hits everyone's going to be so happy the whole time springsteen's back out there now yeah with the east street band and i think i gotta go to that show yeah yeah it's gonna be amazing but no one's no one's no one's saying okay i like this this part of this song oh i don't like this part as much i but no comic ever gets to the point where they're not judged i think moment to moment

00:35:27 - 00:37:32 | Speaker 2:

in my opinion i'm sure bruce has had fans who are like do we have to hear the fucking rising one more time do we have to get let's get to glory days let's get to yeah i've i was i just put out an album and of course i'm like any artist that says that they're not reading reviews or scouring the internet is lying i am like i i look at this i look at these reviews as much as my child and you nurture them you nurture them i take them too seriously sometimes my wife tells me to stop looking at them i i saw this one and everyone's entitled to their opinion i saw this one review saying that charlie just put out an album and it is just another soulless attempt at trying to be an artist and that really hurt my feelings because i actually did i put my my heart and soul in this and i didn't make this album to make a bunch of hit songs i wanted to actually talk about you know uh fatherhood my family and like and other things like that they're like boo doesn't have a catchy hook it's like i've had i you know i had my song attention you just want attention you just want to i had that song out it was a number one record and we couldn't sell 3 000 tickets in i think it was chicago it was like 2 000 tickets 2 000 people's a lot but it was a tour meant for five six thousand people i've had hit songs out people knew the hits more than they knew me my goal on this album was for people to know me yeah and i've and sometimes i get jealous of comedians because you know their personality like when i first time i saw uh ralphie may it's like i became obsessed with like uh uh greg giraldo and like i just i felt like i knew their personality yeah they both passed haven't they yeah that's okay oh man i just named two people that passed okay it happens you know you know what i mean like i i know you're i feel like i know you because i've obviously grown up watching you and like i your delivery it's like you are who you portray yourself to be and whereas a musician it takes a couple of years for people to get to know you unless you just nail it right out of the park that's interesting to me that you

00:37:32 - 00:39:07 | Speaker 1:

have worked so many great artists and then you yourself have had so many hits people know your name and now you're saying yeah i i really want to get into the autobiographical part of songwriting and have people connect to you that way, that makes perfect sense to me. As far as critics go, there's no escaping criticism. And I got to a point in my career where I don't look for it. I have, you know, sometimes you are just confronted whether you want to know it or not with the good and the bad, but, and usually people tell you if there's something really mean about you out there, You'll find out because your garbage man will say, hey, did you see that? You know, and I'll say, well, I didn't, but thank you. I don't think you're the worst fuckhead in the world. Well, I appreciate that. Why are you eating so much dairy? Yeah. Now, the dairy is another issue. We'll talk about the dairy. It's coating your stomach for the morning. Yeah. Yeah. But I would agree with your wife that you don't, I don't think it's necessary to seek it out because you know when you're doing work that you like, that's important to you. And so that's why I would agree with her that you going on the internet and looking for what do people think about Charlie Puth is unnecessary. Everybody does it though. I mean, and I totally agree with you.

00:39:07 - 00:39:20 | Speaker 2:

It is completely unnecessary, but like, it's, it's almost like, it's almost like high school. You just like want validation. Sometimes you poured your heart and soul into this and you just want people to at least like take a listen to it and understand, but, and there are so many, there's millions of people that already haven't.

00:39:20 - 00:39:59 | Speaker 1:

Listen, I'm coming across as if I'm scolding you or telling you this is ridiculous. I completely understand what you're saying, but I've spent a lifetime around people, uh, that are looking for validation and then they're like, well, first I got to do this sold out series of concerts at Madison Square Garden and then I'm getting knighted in England and then I have to go to Spain where they're actually making me a member of the royal family. You know, and it's just one of these funny things about human beings. And trust me, anytime I do anything.

00:40:00 - 00:40:59 | Speaker 2:

I think this is the test of whether I'm any good or not. And I recalibrate every time I set all the clickers back to zero. I think you guys could agree that all the clickers go back to zero. And it's like, you're giving a small toast at a Christmas party. Yes, I know. But these are good friends of mine. And this has to be the greatest toast of all time. And if it isn't, I'm nothing. so I'm telling you that yes we're all ridiculous people but at the same time because I'm not you I can say you do not need to be hunting on the internet uh and reading oh good someone wrote something nasty I need to read every single word of it because I don't think it serves you it doesn't serve your creativity I don't think it's doing anything no it doesn't and you don't know what that person's going through which is they really you know they made it they wanted to do what you're doing possibly or they have biases of course they do i've experienced i've had interactions like that

00:40:59 - 00:41:35 | Speaker 1:

before there was this like bartender who was very rude to me and then i i was i was i'm never rude to people because i i always have that like mentality of like they might be going through something and it turns out that like he didn't get into the school that i went to and like it's very well aware that i went to that school it all had to do very little with the fame aspect with the school aspect and i then i ended up having a great conversation with him about music right was this berkeley this is somewhere in woodstock vermont but i mean was the school berkeley oh the school was berkeley yeah yeah ever been to woodstock vermont yes i have gorgeous yeah

00:41:35 - 00:42:25 | Speaker 2:

beautiful new england and yet this person's living in beautiful woodstock vermont and they're bitter and angry you know maybe not anymore no i think after they they already had a resentment towards you then they met you and you were really nice yeah he's twice as bitter now and he's nice yeah he should have been a dick is what you're saying if you'd been a dick then this guy would be so happy right now i'm glad i'm not him then i'd be a dick but now he's i mean he's probably not alive anymore i'm just gonna put it out there god this took a turn i'm sorry i'm sorry i think there's a good chance that person no longer walks the earth and it's your fault but anyway let's move on god um i i've got to get into music because i i can't be a comedian anymore

00:42:25 - 00:42:58 | Speaker 1:

i'm just a broken man you're so sick but um it's gonna be fine it's like when you watch the sitcom and you hear like you know they're there everything's gonna be okay and then and then you hear the audience clapping like oh yeah yeah and then you have to have and then like cousin uncle jesse comes in and you have to some some sort of like comedic break i'm like anybody want to go get tacos ah and then the credits fucking roll going on tour going on tour and

00:42:58 - 00:43:04 | Speaker 2:

this is a big tour big tour what's the name of it is then is it named after your your album it is

00:43:04 - 00:43:22 | Speaker 1:

the whatever's clever world tour and i will be uh on stage with my band and they're the best band in the music industry. They make me sound so good. And it's just a joy to share the stage with them every single night. You have to come to a show. I would love to come to a show. You come to the Forum show.

00:43:22 - 00:43:40 | Speaker 2:

And maybe, if you want me to come out, sing a song. I know this is coming, so I want to save you the embarrassment. No, I'm serious though. And you just, you throw out a key, because I also have perfect pitch. I feel like you actually might. Comedically, I have perfect pitch. I never, oh wait, I just did that thing about a guy killing himself.

00:43:40 - 00:44:19 | Speaker 1:

what's another song that we might all know that you like uh like you know something in the way she moves james taylor sweet caroline neil diamond what's it i was mocking him with i was doing a pitbull thing but earlier i wrote a pitbull song which one it didn't do very well but i wrote one it was called uh oh god it was part of a movie this was back in 2014 was it men in black it was men in black it was uh you know it was called celebrate and it was uh i just want to celebrate and then he did his thing and we've been around the world same song i'm pit bull and

00:44:19 - 00:44:53 | Speaker 2:

i'm here to say i'm gonna rock the usa um i was driving in to work today and i was flipping around fm radio which i never do just randomly and i heard this song and i'm like what is that and they were whoever the rapper was i found out later on it's pitbull was sampling baby who you're the one down down this 1950s late 50s or 60s hit and i um what is this what is that song

00:44:53 - 00:45:06 | Speaker 1:

called because what i was going to ask you is if you can sing a song that you like and see if it's actually the key of what the song is. right i'm gonna sing um has uh runaway and we're gonna get in trouble because we can't uh do these

00:45:06 - 00:45:26 | Speaker 2:

songs but i'll have to be a very expensive guest that i am well don't even say don't even sing just sing the sing the first song sing the first note of a song that you like uh well i'm gonna see um wow this is incredible uh like uh do you know sweet carol last week yeah not so i mean i hear

00:45:26 - 00:45:32 | Speaker 1:

the way the Boston Red Sox crowd sings it and we know they've been drinking and they've got

00:45:32 - 00:45:34 | Speaker 2:

40 days you sing a lot

00:45:34 - 00:45:38 | Speaker 1:

I'm going to give you 40 days that's Ronnie Hawkins and the Hawks 40 days I do not know that song

00:45:38 - 00:45:40 | Speaker 2:

How about a Jack White song?

00:45:40 - 00:45:53 | Speaker 1:

We are going to be friends Ideally a song I know so I can see if he's correct You know We are going to be friends Fall is here Hear the end Oh you're stumping me I usually know every song Okay It's a very famous song and I'm ashamed of you

00:45:53 - 00:46:01 | Speaker 2:

we can get off it if you want but like I just I feel like I want to hear this

00:46:01 - 00:46:23 | Speaker 1:

Cupid by Sam Cuck Cupid draw back your bow I don't know that song what the fuck is wrong with you I don't know that song either Sam Cuck I don't know it died so that you could live oh my god what I mean we gotta bring it up in the current time what about a Beatles song oh yeah a Beatles song well of course we all know those help need somebody help I think that's B minor it starts off in?

00:46:23 - 00:46:41 | Speaker 2:

Yes, it is. Hell, I need some. Did I just sing in B minor? But you're doing it in D minor. Yeah, well, I fixed it. I often fix Beatles songs. You know the first chords of B minor, so you definitely have some extra recollection.

00:46:41 - 00:46:42 | Speaker 1:

I do. I remember that.

00:46:43 - 00:46:44 | Speaker 2:

That's fascinating.

00:46:45 - 00:49:40 | Speaker 1:

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00:49:40 - 00:49:59 | Speaker 1:

and i think that's just a fallacy i think we so your song was about how i used to do this i used to wear my hair differently i used to try and throw out these words to to seem cool and i think yeah this song is is special was was resonated with me just because i think i do

00:50:00 - 00:50:27 | Speaker 2:

that about musicians i think they're real you know they're real because you can sit here and you can make magic with this keyboard and you can write these songs that two billion people will listen to and i think oh that's many many levels above what a comedian does and i think a lot of comedians do that i think a lot of us lower ourselves around musicians we because i just i think we we put musicians on a pedestal and maybe rightfully so i don't think you lower

00:50:27 - 00:50:31 | Speaker 1:

yourself you just sang the fucking national anthem right timmy i think but i i i understand i didn't

00:50:31 - 00:53:30 | Speaker 2:

sing it as high as i think i could sing it but this is very i didn't know that this was going to be so introspective this is very continue sorry i won't i won't no i like every now and then some real stuff breaks out here and we try to clean it up in editing yeah and add fart sounds why do you think you comedians will lower themselves when well i think comedians are all about uh they're well defended you know they're it's all about um keep the conversation keep the conversation moving um slip and move and make fun of yourself before someone else can make fun of you there's a lot of tricks that we all employ because really we're just protecting ourselves a lot of these a lot of really funny comedians grew up not being able to fight and this is what we could do and so it literally is kind of a weapon it's a survival mechanism and these aren't new observations this is as old as time but i do think that um a lot of comedians can grow up thinking yeah i do this because i literally had to to make my mark or survive in some way not literally survive but survive these social situations and then music just feels so instantly like oh my god that's great do more of that you know when you come across someone who's playing the piano really well you just think instantly oh my god that's like god is speaking through them i was about and i don't think we think that way about comedy god is not speaking through me and if he was god should be sued but you know what i mean and so i'm i'm not this isn't false modesty this is what i really believe is that when someone is playing with these um sounds and manipulating them in a way and creating these patterns seemingly without effort. I know there's a lot of practice involved and there's a lot of work, but when they sit down and they're just messing around and you see the film Get Back, the recut version of Let It Be, when you see that and you see Paul McCartney sitting with his bass and he's frustrated because they need a song and he just starts over and over again banging and then you see it become the song get back yeah through sheer force of will and creativity and he does it in real time and it's this song that again is in my head and i could make noises to simulate it um i know the scene you're talking about yeah and he's just there with his i mean they're like they need something and he just keeps with a bass which i did not think of as a songwriter's instrument i think it's guitar or it's often keyboard or piano but he's there with a bass and he's just and he's like okay yeah yeah i see what it is now it's don't sing too much you'll have to pay mccartney isn't cheap and mccartney will he'll he's monitoring this stuff right now himself he listens to this podcast because he knows right i got you i got

00:53:30 - 00:54:36 | Speaker 1:

you um see what you done because he's the master of none of this is like all all of this is not even about me it's not for if if a musician the reason uh well not the reason this is how i'll say the musicians that make it all about themselves are the first to fall in my opinion because like it's not this i didn't invent this chord this is like some god particle thing and then we apply our human experience right chords the like that sounds ugly but like when you put like it starts to resolve like that that does something that can make anybody if there were a hundred people in here and i played like a fire alarm everybody would like you know wince and cover their ears but you can they're not going to do that if i do i'm gonna be like they're not gonna there's a difference like you can do that that's a very primitive example but like you can do that through intervals and chords and then it's our goal as humans and job as humans to to to put our experience in what was made for us already yeah the stage was set you know it's interesting the

00:54:36 - 00:55:00 | Speaker 2:

parallel that i always find is because there are certain rules that exist obviously and greek tragedy i mean the the greeks invented so much great salad by the way um oh geez but um i just looked at sona because she's part greek um like i invented the salad well your people did and i'm proud of you

00:55:00 - 00:55:58 | Speaker 1:

you're welcome my gut feels amazing every time i eat what you've made but you know there's dramatic structure there's dramatic structure and if you look you know plays novels any story has a dramatic structure sitcoms have a structure uh uh you know and then you look at a lot of it is creating tension and then resolving tension and that's what so much of music is is you know you and then you're on the e you're on the you know and then you get back to the a and you're just like there's this feeling of yeah happy happy sad yeah happy tension resolve yeah and it's just uh i think it's the soundtrack for uh most mood stabilizer commercials is you You know, someone's, oh, I don't feel good, I don't feel good. But then you tried Miliastra, you know, and then, yeah, yeah.

00:55:58 - 00:56:04 | Speaker 2:

Same words, and it's usually a ukulele or something. Yeah, yeah, and then all the side effects. Yeah, yeah.

00:56:05 - 00:57:52 | Speaker 1:

Side effects include massive diarrhea, more diarrhea. Your diarrhea will have diarrhea. People near you will have diarrhea. That's called sympathetic diarrhea. They change the key. Yeah, they change the key a bit. Also, diarrhea in a higher key. but you know that i remember there's a i'm trying to think which one there's a diary and a hierarchy is what the tour should be called i'm going on tour or just open with that song um i think it's cashmere you know yeah we really got to be careful because jimmy page jimmy page is on the same he's watching on the same zoom with sir paul um uh oh there he goes um that's a song that stays forever and then it's i mean these are very simple elemental changes you know and i don't know i i i don't know that song that well it's not in my head but you know it's like it's in it's almost like it's in e for a long time and then it goes to e seven and so you can sort of see like the ice is starting to break and it's it's agonizingly long And then suddenly it goes to like a, and every time that happens, every time I hear it in any context, I think I've just seen the face of God and it's the simplest move in the world. But that is, I think what a lot of people in comedy do as well, which is you create this tension of what this person is saying is completely outrageous. And then laughter is the resolution. People laugh and it's like, Oh good. We're out of that long sustained E7. And now we're into an Amy. It's like oh yeah yes this person just saved the day and what it is is creating this unbearable tension and then breaking it you know i've just ruined everything by trying to explain no people hate

00:57:52 - 00:58:27 | Speaker 2:

this i knew walking in here that i was uh they were you know your staff is wonderful they were like it's gonna you're it's gonna be fun it's like yeah i know it's gonna be fun but what you're not telling me is that it's gonna be thought provoking i always have really interesting awesome conversations with dave chapelle yourself will ferrell it's never i feel like the common misconception when you have a sit down with a comedian or an actor is that they're going to be a hundred percent that person that you're thinking of right it's there's there's so much more to that every time i will's a really good friend of mine i'm sure you know him as well he's

00:58:27 - 00:58:53 | Speaker 1:

an enemy okay he's an enemy and so is chapelle you just named my two arch enemies i just have I hate those guys. And they have no talent. None. None. None. Sad what happened to them. Anyway, continue. My media training is... Whatever you do, don't mention Will Ferrell or Dave Chappelle, DeCone, O'Brien, because he hates them.

00:58:54 - 00:59:06 | Speaker 2:

No, they are two spectacular geniuses, in my opinion. I'm not slapping my knee laughing at talking to them. I'm like kind of like really intrigued what they have to say because there's a lot of parallels

00:59:06 - 00:59:59 | Speaker 1:

drawn. Well, it's the same thing that happens to me if I'm talking to, you know, the times that I've had a chance to have a conversation with, say, a Paul McCartney. I don't I don't walk away thinking, what the hell was that? He he made no music while we spoke, you know, and it's the same thing because the first time I met Steve Martin years and years and years ago when I was a writer on Saturday Night Live, I went into the meeting to pitch him ideas thinking he's going to have an arrow through his head like 1978, 1979. Yeah, he's going to, you know, there's part of you that thinks that's who you're going to be talking to. Yeah, exactly. That it would be that era. That's the era that I first, that's how I first experienced Steve Martin. And then you walk in and it's this very, very serious, serious as a heart attack guy who's trying to figure out what he's going to do that week, talking in a very soft-spoken voice.

01:00:00 - 01:00:05 | Speaker 3:

and he can access that but he's not going to do that right now so so that's fascinating to me yeah

01:00:05 - 01:00:36 | Speaker 1:

yeah so i i am me all the time i i i guess i i if you see me at chipotle i'm not going to be how you see me on the internet but so i i guess that's the it's the same thing it's i i have you know days where i'm super quiet and i don't want to be like music music music yeah yeah yeah yeah and there are days where it's the last thing you probably like i don't want to do that today Oh, I just want to watch Doug DeMuro. Have you ever seen Doug DeMuro on cars? Carsandbids.com.

01:00:36 - 01:00:38 | Speaker 3:

I don't think I know that. No, I don't know that.

01:00:38 - 01:00:47 | Speaker 1:

It's just this super niche community of car lovers of the modern era. Like, if I can tell you all you need to know about the Saturn view. Oh, wow. I just, I love.

01:00:47 - 01:00:49 | Speaker 3:

So, cars of the modern era.

01:00:49 - 01:01:11 | Speaker 1:

Cars of the modern era. Anything below 70s. Like, I don't know what a fucking 79 Corvette is supposed to look like. But I can tell you everything about the Scion XB. The Leaf? Do you know anything about the Leaf? The Nissan Leaf. Even phones, I like that.

01:01:11 - 01:01:26 | Speaker 3:

I love that. A guy just going on and on about, okay, I got this Nissan Leaf. And you know, it runs at 40 watts. I bumped it up to 41. This sucker will do, out of the gate, it'll do 35 miles per hour at top speed.

01:01:27 - 01:01:38 | Speaker 1:

I do know the statistics if it's a straight four-cylinder. You got a four under that hood? In that leaf? What do you got in that leaf?

01:01:38 - 01:01:39 | Speaker 3:

You got a four?

01:01:39 - 01:02:03 | Speaker 1:

Do you know what I sit about? I think about when my wife's trying to watch her heated rivalries and whatever. Oh my God. I lay down and think, why did the Yukon Denali in 2002, I'm serious, Why did GMC have this beautiful insignia on this chrome door handle on the Yukon Denali in 2002? And then in the 2003 model year, they got rid of it.

01:02:04 - 01:02:18 | Speaker 3:

This is crazy. You're going to say I'm making this up? I have my notes here for the conversation? Denali, right here. Why did they lose it on the door? Right here. Soda believed me! Soda believed! Did you believe me?

01:02:18 - 01:02:21 | Speaker 2:

I did. That's insane! I know, I'm very gullible.

01:02:21 - 01:02:27 | Speaker 3:

Why would I go into an interview with Charlie Puz to talk about the Denali? You were so sincere. I just brought it up.

01:02:27 - 01:02:30 | Speaker 2:

I didn't know. I thought maybe he mentioned it. I don't know. You're a fool.

01:02:30 - 01:02:34 | Speaker 1:

To be fair, I thought he was serious too.

01:02:34 - 01:02:35 | Speaker 2:

Thank you, Charlie. Thank you.

01:02:35 - 01:02:36 | Speaker 3:

I have a way of committing.

01:02:37 - 01:02:37 | Speaker 2:

Yes.

01:02:37 - 01:03:12 | Speaker 3:

I'm going to say something because we ran out of time a while ago and I've been keeping it going because I- You're having too much fun. I was having so much fun. I'm shocked you haven't been here before. And our booker, paula davis um i went to her a while ago and i said let's get charlie pooth on i love him i'll watch his tiktoks and she said no not gonna do it not gonna do it and i kept pushing her and she's like no no no she was like no we're not gonna do it and i said why why can't we have charlie on the show and she said because you can't handle the booth oh i gotta go i gotta go i can't do

01:03:12 - 01:03:16 | Speaker 1:

this anymore i gotta go oh god i gotta go what do you think is it the end of the podcast no yeah

01:03:16 - 01:03:23 | Speaker 2:

it's done it was good working with you that was awful jesus christ you can't handle the poof you

01:03:23 - 01:03:34 | Speaker 1:

can't handle the poof listen i am so mad i thought i thought it was just because i was just recently taken seriously like a year ago i feel like people are finally like actually taking me no it's because

01:03:34 - 01:03:48 | Speaker 3:

it lines up so perfectly with you can't handle the truth yeah and what i took was hold on let me explain let me explain let me explain and then your last name's poof and so i took this iconic Like, what's this? You can't give me thumbs down on this.

01:03:48 - 01:03:53 | Speaker 2:

You're explaining it. That's the problem. Now we're going into, it's bad enough. Now imagine I'm Jack Nicholson. Yeah, it's bad enough.

01:03:53 - 01:03:55 | Speaker 3:

You can't handle the poof.

01:03:55 - 01:03:57 | Speaker 2:

No, it's bad enough you did it.

01:03:57 - 01:04:01 | Speaker 3:

That's a great, great bit. Did it end? I don't understand.

01:04:01 - 01:04:03 | Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think we're done. No, no, no. No, okay.

01:04:04 - 01:04:43 | Speaker 3:

This is how I wish we had started. And I wish this had happened in the middle and then at the end as the resolution. I see. um charlie that cup has been empty for a while you're just looking for a way out lukewarm erewan bone broth um no what are you talking about you are a phenomenally talented young fellow and uh i'm i just knew because i also i see your sense of humor too when i watch your videos i'm like okay this guy does what i wish i could do and he's funny and you're a massive success so

01:04:43 - 01:04:52 | Speaker 1:

i was really happy trip to me because you are such a massive massive success and i haven't grown up watching you and it's like now it's it's just so full circle none of us none of that stuff

01:04:52 - 01:04:59 | Speaker 3:

i don't know i don't think of myself that like this is me being as honest as i think i can be which is um

01:05:00 - 01:05:37 | Speaker 2:

Um, I have been incredibly lucky and I love getting to do this thing, whatever it is. I won't put a name to it, but what I love about these conversations is trying to get to something that I don't think I'm ever going to crack, which is there's this thing we're all trying to figure out. And now you're going to go off and I know exactly what you're talking about. You're going to go off and, and play these amazing shows for sold out massive venues. And, but you're still trying to see Portland's not sold out. you know portland is always tricky yeah but they're you know they're drinking

01:05:37 - 01:05:41 | Speaker 1:

kombucha yeah exactly i don't know if they want to hear we don't talk anymore some do

01:05:41 - 01:06:08 | Speaker 2:

yeah listen first of all you've now we're not going to get portland sold out by alienating portland so i'm just going to say i can't imagine a better place for you to play than portland i bet it's going to sound amazing i mean great donuts great people they can't handle the booth maybe that's it maybe they can't handle the booth we don't have to go back to that well we just went back to uh a quip that was cancer that was cancerous yes it was i

01:06:08 - 01:06:14 | Speaker 1:

mean it's toxic it was it was you should apologize i don't know is there any other musician you look

01:06:14 - 01:07:13 | Speaker 2:

up to other than me of course i look up to anyone that can make a living doing it i think that's absolutely stunning and that sounds but i'm just amazed when when i mean and my goal getting into this was if i can pay my rent thinking of funny little things or being weird wouldn't that be the most amazing thing in the world that was my idea in 1985 and it's still my idea you know it's like still like that is it's not going to get better than that um scale of things can change but the actual mission doesn't change so i'm just i'm blown away when i mean i like to sit and talk to people if i walk into a hotel lobby and someone's playing the piano there i'm just i think that must just be amazing to be able to sit and play the piano and you've got a um you know you've got a standing gig and people come and they listen to you and you get some free drinks That's the part I would want.

01:07:14 - 01:07:29 | Speaker 3:

But you can, and I used to, that used to be one of my odd jobs is I would go, well, not odd. I would play the piano at bars. You can change the room with, you know, when you start playing piano, man.

01:07:30 - 01:07:31 | Speaker 1:

Yeah.

01:07:31 - 01:07:32 | Speaker 3:

I won't play any more of it, but yeah.

01:07:33 - 01:07:44 | Speaker 2:

God, these laws are destroying, they're destroying podcasts. They are. Well, Billy Joel needs that 35 bucks? No.

01:07:45 - 01:07:56 | Speaker 3:

But you would hear Rodney Dangerfield sit down with Johnny Carson and he would just like, the audience would change just based on the diction and like his delivery.

01:07:56 - 01:08:23 | Speaker 2:

Yes, and the expectation. So like Buddy Hackett or Rodney Dangerfield or any of these amazing comedians would sit down with Johnny Carson when I was a kid and my father and I and anyone else in the room would just be like, oh, this is going to be good. And that's what happens when you start to hear some of these iconic songs. When anyone's playing their hit, there's the, oh my God. Everyone knows what's coming and they're all so delighted and excited for it, which is great.

01:08:23 - 01:09:20 | Speaker 3:

Except if you completely change the arrangement and make it not what it's supposed to sound like. Right, the bossa nova version of Piano Man. Artistic selfishness. But even Billy Joel, he says, and I've opened up for him a couple of times. one show got rained out but he's i asked him do you only guess portland no pittsburgh oh damn it he even said he like i asked him do you get tired of playing piano man and he was like i do but the crowd's reaction is worth everything wow that's you don't quote me exactly but that's what i remember him saying to me in 2016 now get out there and open this show i'm not paying you to talk to me well the show got the show got rained out and the show got rained out and i was all bummed out he came in they were like mr joel wants to uh billy wants to come in and you know offer his apologies and he came in and he shrugged his shoulders he was like

01:09:20 - 01:09:42 | Speaker 2:

what do you want me to do and we took a picture i have a guy that thinks he needs to apologize for the weather i'm gonna start doing that sorry guys eclipse what can i do he didn't have to do that was nice he was very nice listen an absolute delight congratulations you are a new dad which is the best thing you'll ever do

01:09:42 - 01:09:57 | Speaker 3:

shout out to Jude Puth Jude what a cool name hey Jude that's what we played during the during his birth that's during the birth yeah that's a long enough song all the anesthesiologists all the doctors were na na na na na na

01:09:57 - 01:09:59 | Speaker 2:

that's so cool

01:09:59 - 01:10:29 | Speaker 3:

now yeah Thank you.

01:10:00 - 01:10:06 | Speaker 1:

every time i sing it to him he goes that and sing by the carpenters he loves when the kids come in

01:10:06 - 01:10:48 | Speaker 3:

on the second verse that's so cool my daughter's name is sandman because we were listening to metallica and um that was fucked up but you know what it turns out i can man o'brien just be careful this is a public service be careful what you're listening to when a child is born because it can go any different way you know delight having you here Charlie really and best of luck on this tour you're going to kill it thank you no more diving through the internet not necessary you don't need it you're way past that long time ago I agree alright my first interview with my permanent retainer I just got it

01:10:48 - 01:11:05 | Speaker 1:

you just got a permanent retainer is it behind your teeth it's behind my teeth no it's right behind these four front teeth here okay I don't know why. Why would you tell me that at all? Because it's a personal victory for me. I was kind of like nervous that I was going to talk weird.

01:11:05 - 01:11:24 | Speaker 3:

No, it was perfect. Yeah. Now I have, this is my first interview with an empty colon. There's nothing, I'm completely clean down there. Completely empty colon. Is that something that we should be sharing? I mean, completely, completely. Haven't eaten in six days. We got it. Just and then right before the podcast, that Shabbadoo.

01:11:24 - 01:11:25 | Unknown:

Oh my God.

01:11:25 - 01:11:31 | Speaker 3:

Okay, I'm an awful person. You're awful. Charlie, I apologize to you, to your team.

01:11:32 - 01:11:34 | Speaker 2:

Yeah. Thank you so much for being here.

01:11:34 - 01:11:35 | Speaker 3:

This was so cool.

01:11:35 - 01:12:40 | Speaker 1:

Really. Thank you for having me. Thank you, everybody. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

01:12:40 - 01:13:36 | Speaker 3:

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01:14:04 - 01:14:05 | Speaker 2:

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