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Oh, yeah, all the time.

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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com slash Call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

Hello, Conan O'Brien here. Normally, this would be a fan interaction of some kind. This is the drop. I call it the drop. Oh. Where, you know, I talk to somebody in the world, and those are fun. Today, we're going to do a little something different, and this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting word on my gummy situation.

Uh-huh.

Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation. Not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies.

Sure did.

And they're lovely looking. It's these canisters that are just gorgeous.

Yeah.

And they're gummies. You got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Yes. Isn't that true?

Yes, I did.

What were some of the gummies? Refresh my mind.

Some of them were to, you know, liven you up, maybe put some pep in your step.

Yep.

They're all, I'm going to say they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet.

It's probably in the mail.

It better be.

Maybe.

Because I just said it again.

Also, maybe they're on brand and they're taking their time. They can't get off the couch.

Like they're all stoners there.

It's a fun little riff.

Okay. If you say so. Yeah, pretty funny. Anyway. You have to say that your riff is funny.

They're all like, yeah, bro, we didn't send those. I forget, man. Now they're never sending you anything.

I sent ones for sleep. They all different flavors. You know, I gave you a bunch Thinking that it could help you

You gave me a bunch and I was excited I was looking at them all and I thought This could really change my life Maybe, you know, a lifetime A lifetime of being on it Well, you can fill in the blanks here Type A

Gotta follow the rules

Follow the rules

L7 weenie Yeah

I don't know what When you go

I gotta do make up all the rules I can't do anything oh it's not but what is this part

what's that

that's how I I don't that's my impression of you it's like oh gosh guys don't do that guys guys it can fry your brain cells everybody yeah so you're just you're a straight lace

I'm a straight lace I think I was gonna say yeah

it's not a bad thing

well after what you just did after that whole run I think it's a terrible thing it's not bad being a cyborg sent from the future to destroy humankind yeah so I need to come clean people are probably we think fans are saying oh my god Conan got these gummies what happened because he promised he was going to go off and do them and this is the hilarious part it's now been I think two weeks

yeah it's been a minute

yeah it's been a minute well I just said two weeks so I don't know why

it is a cooler way to say it

all right yeah

well I'm not factual

two weeks is the appropriate time span all right here's this here's the update and i think this is going to have to be a work in progress and i have turned taking gummies into a chore i have turned taking gummies into

to a, I'll get to it, I just have to slot it in. I know. That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently, the best gummies one can get, Camino. Camino, yes, yes. He, me, and they mentioned us, man. Cheech and Chong work there? Yeah, they do. So, I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one. Nibbled on the corner. Literally, I want to say less than half. First of all, they're delicious. They are. They are really, they taste great. And I think paired with the right wine, fantastic. Okay. So anyway, I had, I want to say maybe I had a quarter. I'm like, that's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you, Eduardo. Eduardo basically. Eduardo looks so disappointed. Eduardo famously called me a little bitch on the podcast because he he heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy. And so anyway, you're being proven right, Eduardo, because what I've managed to do in two weeks is I think on two occasions nibbled on maybe a quarter of one. And it looks like a very tiny mouse got it one. That's what it looks like. I mean, the smallest mouse that ever, a mouse embryo lived long enough to nibble on the corner of a sleep gummy. And I'm a redhead, so I'm very tolerant. So, of course, I've felt nothing so far. And that's nothing on Camino. Big supporter. Hey, man. Thanks, man. But, you know, I haven't gone whole hog. Now, there's another one that gets you. It's called exhilarate. It's called like, no, there's one called chill. Oh, yeah. Chill. I don't need to be exhilarated because let's face it. I was born kind of leaning into life there. Yeah. And I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. Chill is the one that interested me. I have not tried one yet. And I'll look at it and I'll go, well, I'll try and get to that tonight.

I don't know. Yeah, go ahead. When you when you said that you're treating it like a chore, I did. I think we were on the phone on Friday. David was there. And I begged you to take them to try it over the weekend. and you were like kind of grown.

Because Adam is like, we need this. The fans need to, Adam is always wielding his whip and Adam is like, you need to get to this. This needs to be a segment and the fans are waiting and you're about to leave for your next travel show and you'll be gone for two weeks. And I started to go, okay. So I've got a guy on the phone nagging me and he could have been someone from the IRS saying, do. You've got to file your return on the 15th. And I'm going, I'll get to it. I just haven't had it. I've got to go find a shoebox of receipts. That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where

does this come from? Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like take

gummy? I think you have to. Okay. Put it in my calendar. So I'm a side. Is that it? I'm like, I think you're just you're you're overthinking it. Look, if you don't want to do it, that's fine. we're not peer pressuring you are we peer pressuring you that's the dictionary definition of what you're doing you are you are my peers yeah and you were exerting enormous eduardo called me a little bitch that was just an observation that wasn't peer pressure that was just an observation between your little bitch adam calling me anxiously and saying we got to get on this um yeah i guess i'm feeling a little bit of pressure uh but i'm i'm going to i'm gonna do it uh i'm just if we could be real here for a second i come from you know i as you know my dad uh a doctor um and he we i mean i just grew up he was against us taking anything i mean you know Aspirin was like a big leap Do you know what I mean And so That's why That's probably I bet he was high all the time My dad? I don't know Yeah he was You know my dad was You know my dad was Jamaican He was Jamaican He was in a ska group In the 50s He was Knowing your dad Just makes that so much fun My dad was in a A very good ska band In Jamaica And then he Emigrated to Boston In the late 50s And his stage name was O'Brien. And then he cut his hair and became, you know, microbiologist at Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston. Well, I think your dad would have been more on board with you, you know.

taking an edible than doing like taking an antibiotic, for instance. So I think he would have been on board with a little bit.

He would have been okay with the correct antibiotic. My dad was a, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about.

After his ska band.

Yeah. Well, his, I'm sorry, his ska band was antibiotic resistance. And it was a name that really was unpopular in Jamaica. And Jimmy Cliff was telling him, you got to change that. And he was like, hey, man, you know, it's a whole thing. I mean, so anyway, he he would have been in favor. He was in favor of antibiotics. This is OK. My dad was not like an RFK junior. He was in favor of the right, correct antibiotic. He just didn't like it when people took the shotgun approach to antibiotics, which is a major problem and has caused a lot of resistant bacteria and been a huge issue. and i bring that up in my dad's memory uh and i think he was correct obviously he was correct but anyway um get back getting back to the fun part i think that uh no my dad would have been like what you don't take something that what you want to relax that would have would have said you want to relax you want to you want to not be on guard for a second what are you talking about so that's the culture i come from okay you know we we've got to go to you know catholic church we've got to we've got to stay on it and uh that's been my that's been my way okay but i think it's it's

only because you've expressed some interest in it that's why we we think it'll be nice for you to

just do a little dabble but again no peer pressure i'm also i'm also do it but listen i'm also

intrigued by uh the thought of an orgy i mean there's a lot of things that there's a lot of things that intrigue me, but I don't think I'll try it. Am I intrigued by the idea of there being nine naked bodies? All of us rolling around on a massive bed, you know, and there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things that are flipping and flopping, you know, sure. Sure. Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have. Life changes your mattress should too. Yeah, it should. I've always said this since day one. First thing I ever said to you, life changes your mattress should too.

That was weird.

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Yeah?

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No way!

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Well, that's really cool.

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I do too.

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if you grow up catholic the way i did there are all these things the notion of it titillates you i just said titillate that the saying titillate intrigued me for a long time and i just said it for the first time um things excite you but you oh god for you know it's forbidden fruit you don't go there so for me that's the chill gummy now i think i made a big step by eating a quarter of a sleep gummy. That is true.

And you felt nothing.

Well, yeah, I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand at all. That's on me. I'm 6'4".

Yes.

You know, 193 pounds of pure beef. I'm also a redhead, so... Pure beef? Well, I'm sorry. I am. Oh, okay. Very muscular.

Yeah, uh-huh.

And people are surprised when they, you know...

You are in great shape. Thank you very much. And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half or even a full five milligram would be...

I'm not ready to do that yet.

That's okay. Baby steps.

Also, I'm always operating heavy machinery.

That's a regular part of my life.

I bought a forklift about a year ago. And one of my ways of relaxing is just driving it around the neighborhood and lifting things and storing them in a warehouse. So, you know, you can't. You can't take medication or gummies before you operate the forklift. But no, I'm going to get to it. I promise. But I think this is unintentional. It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited and I've turned it into something I need. I need to carve out time for that, which is so hilarious.

It is really funny the way you're over. Oh, here we go. Well, can I just ask a question,

which is you're doing it right now? Let's go. Which is which is you've had beer and wine and alcohol and it wears off. I mean, this is the same thing. It's not like you're going to take a gummy and then forever you're gonna be okay let me let me address that let me address that

issue i know exactly what you're saying and i think it's a fair point um i really don't uh you know i try not to drink a lot these days um and but yeah i've been in an altered state and boy am i funny very i'm really god really funny when i've had a few but but i mean god it's like whole next level and if you think this was good you know we should do a thing where kona has a couple of glasses of wine and then people are, but you know, it's going to be like, you know, Oppenheimer's seeing the big light. People can't handle it. They're going to have to put on, no, seriously, we're going to have to tell people who listen to the pod, Conan's going to have a couple of glasses of wine. Everyone needs to get into some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little slit. You have to have glasses made of lead because it's going to be that kind of thing. And then Sirius is going to call and go, you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray i'd be like oh fuck what are we gonna do now so any hoots um be that as it may uh yeah that is a true thing i think i grew up in that era where i mean i grew up in a dry house my parents didn't drink there was no liquor in the house there was nothing so i took a brave step by having some red wine you know i didn't so that was my big excursion into the wilderness then uh but then you add gummies marijuana and it's it's what's that yes you add glad you're here no one adds to a story like you um i'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it i i come from that era where if some i remember my uncle uh gavin calling them jazz cigarettes. My Uncle Gavin came to Saturday Night Live, and he came to a taping of Saturday Night Live. And afterwards, he was amazed. He saw it live. He got to sit on the floor right in front of where they do the monologue. And he saw G.E. Smith and the band play. And he came out afterwards. And I remember Bob Odenkirk and I were standing there and he went, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that band. Tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jammed down his bootleg.

Oh, my God.

That's the era I come from.

You're going to the Netherlands. You're going to the weed capital of the world.

Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore because I think L.A. is the weed capital of the world. I mean, it's legal.

Well, they have cafes there. It's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So are you not going to partake at all?

You know who's coming?

on this trip, who never comes on trips? My wife. Who? Liza's coming.

Hey, Liza.

Yeah, but she, you know, if I say, hey, let's hit a cafe and I'll have some wacky tabacky in my boba tea, she's going to say, you will not. You know? I don't know. I think she'd be into it. No, she's not a Bobby McFerrin, you know? She's not a...

What?

She's not a don't worry, be happy person. Oh, okay, okay. She's a, you better toe the line, see? and I'm like, yes, dear, no, dear, yes, dear, no, dear. So, and trust me, that is the most spot on impression of my wife. Absolutely not. Now you listen to me. You think you're going to relax and have fun?

Not on my watch. Yes, dear, no, dear, yes, dear, no, dear. How dare you?

Yeah, it's so insane.

I know, I won't take this Liza Blast.

She is the mother of my children. she is an angel and I just totally portrayed her

you did

but maybe there's a grain of truth who knows I don't think she's gonna be the one saying hey you better go get fucked up that's not Liza either so look if it was me going on this trip sans my wife and Jeff Ross is there going let's go let's get fucked up Jeff's gonna have the best time on this trip yeah

well Blake is too Blake you're gonna enjoy it

we're gonna have some fun yep Well, okay. Well, you get fucked up in most places we go.

Oh, snappity-dappity.

Yeah, yeah. Even places where he shouldn't be. He managed to have a good time. That's not the point. The point is, I love to say that's not the point. The point is, even when no one's disagreeing with me.

Nobody, yeah.

I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is, wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to?

This is why you need a gummy. You just proved it.

This is what it's like inside your mind.

Yeah, this stops. You just sit. You'll just sit. It's okay. Look. on your own time don't feel like you have to but you should oh no i did this on kimmel people loved it where i froze my face yeah yeah it's good for an audio medium yeah everyone listening

yeah he's um so i'll get to it i'll get to the gummy but you know that whole thing of Hey, Amsterdam, I don't think that holds water anymore because literally the streetlights here in Los Angeles are made of marijuana.

That's true.

You know, tightly packed, woven marijuana.

I partake from time to time.

If you miss a day, come on, be honest.

No, there are some days where I can't because I have to mother.

That's very different from I partake from. Hey, occasionally there's a moment when I can't is very different from I partake from time to time.

From time to time, I partake. But if I ever went to Amsterdam, I would definitely enjoy doing it.

You take gummies the way a person with terrible diabetes takes insulin.

Oh, my God.

Constantly.

What are you talking about?

You inject yourself with gummy, liquid gummy.

I'm not, I'm not a total, I don't wake and bake. I'm not a total potted. I have children I have to take care of.

That's true.

But at the end of the day, after a long day, yeah, I'm chill. I take that.

You gum, is it called gum it up? What's the cool way to say take a gummy?

I don't know, but I don't think it's gum it up. I don't know what it is.

What do you ride the gum train? What do you do?

Yeah, I ride the gum train. This is, you know what? This, it'll help you with all of this. And I think.

Do we want to help me? That's the other thing. I'm going to propose something. what if I take the chill when I really like it and I take a little more and I really like it and suddenly I come in here I don't have any of my psychic wounds I don't have any of my old neural grooves I don't have my weird spasms and my flights of fancy based on neurotic madness and then suddenly all of this ends oh all of this ends I'm in I'm gonna come in and I'm like

hi Sona how are you what but are you okay oh are you talking to me with respect yeah oh my god oh i hate this what are you talking about just how are you are you okay i'm doing really well how

are you how are you i'm very well thank you oh good how are you like you're lowering your no but how are you david i'm scared no this is the new conan i just had some chill and um blaze raising his hand i was going to talk about well i guess just the news today i guess a lot going on on the news so let's discuss that yes what's up that's never going to happen and i i would i would also say hey how are you no and you know what i welcome you on mic i'm gonna tell you

that's definitely not gonna happen my favorite quote i've said this before on the podcast my favorite quote of yours you ever said was we were on a flight going on an international trip it's in the middle of the night and i was up reading and you come back to my uh seat you're like hey how's it going i'm like hey man what's up and you're like uh

Thank you.

good i'm like uh you should get some sleep we have to shoot as soon as we get off the plane you're like i took an ambient and it was like throwing a tic-tac into the sun yeah and so let me tell you i burn through meds i mean they go that when meds do anything when meds meet my system they just go yes you know except profile which is why i get it which is why i get a colonoscopy every week i tell them don't even put a camera back there i said don't just sketch from memory You don't need a camera, but you know, I'm always in there and sometimes I get a colonoscopy and then I sit out there and then I come back in and I put a mustache on and say, uh, Mr. Jones. And then I put a mustache on my bare ass. So it looks like someone else's ass. And they go like, I go like that's, and this is my ass, Mr. Jones's ass. And then I have my ass go, hello, I've never had a colonoscopy. And they're like, why is your ass talking to us in a lower tone? And I say, just let's have the propofol and get going. I have the most photographed colon of all time. Seriously. They're thinking of running them all together and having its own channel. A streaming channel. 900 hours of all Conan. I loves the prope. Loves the prope. I loves the probe. But yeah, so there will be another episode where I update you because I am going to do it. Oh, mark my words. I promise you, I shall take the chill gummy and I'll take a whole sleep gummy and we'll see what happens. Okay. You know what I mean? No pressure. All right. Well, listen, I look forward to this and it will be the end of the podcast as we know it because a relaxed Conan, not a fun Conan. That's all I'm going to say. Who's the little bitch now, Eduardo?

Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs Jeff Ross and Nick Liao Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy Supervising producer, Aaron Blair Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by Eduardo Perez Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

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