Muse

What's a booster? Somebody that steals clothes from a store and sells it at a discount price? It's not community service.

I Love Boosters is the must-see movie of the summer. Starring Kiki Palmer and Demi Moore in a crazy heist comedy set in the cutthroat fashion world.

The Velvet Gang, they're boosting from my stores.

Critics are hailing I Love Boosters as wildly hilarious and outrageous, provocative and really f***ing fun.

Come on, let's take all of it.

I Love Boosters. Rated R. In theaters May 22nd. Get tickets now.

What's going on? I'm Arch Manning, Viori athlete and college quarterback. Whether I'm running, training, traveling, or just unwinding at home, I love doing it in my core shorts from Viori. With a breathable box of brief liner, they're quick to dry, super versatile, and stand up to even my most intense training sessions. Plus, they come in three inseams and a ton of colors. Ready to try a pair? Go to Viori.com slash arch and get 20% off at checkout. I think you're going to love them as much as I do. That's V-U-R-I dot com slash A-R-C-H and get 20% off your first order. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Have a great day.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan.

Okay, let's get started. Hey, Jessica, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Hi, guys. Thanks for having me. Hey, Jessica, how are you? Oh, this is a dream come true. I'm having a great time.

Okay, well, you're masking it very well.

i just finished office hours i was like i took a propanolol too so i'm like

beta blocker up you know well great i love my callers to be drugged up that's

that's the best way listen i'm a doctor i can get these prescriptions easily uh jessica where are you right now i am in new jersey like jersey shore monmouth county

Okay. And you are, it says here, you're an OBGYN. Is that correct?

That's right. That's right, baby.

Is that how you always respond when people say, are you an OBGYN? Yes.

Right, baby. They're in stirrups and I'm like, hey, baby. It doesn't go over well every time, but.

Wow. Okay.

I'm a very specific type of doctor. I get a very specific type of patients.

Yeah. Well, there's so much to talk about here. First of all, have we met before? Because someone said you came to a taping or two back in the day.

I mean, yeah. When I was in high school, I lived in Jersey. We would pop into the city. So I went to a lot of your tapings.

Cool.

Oh, wow. And yeah, I mean, obsessed. And then my mom has like a ticket stub from one time we went to see you in 1999. Cool. Wow. and we had met fabio oh my god yeah i should point out fabio was an intern at the time for our show yes and so we took this picture it was before smart phone so it was one of those throwaway cameras and then after my mom took the picture with him he grabbed my mom dipped her backwards kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad and then like walked away and then a month later he he got hit in the face with the goose on the rollercoaster. Do you remember his face exploded on a rollercoaster?

That's such an incredible, what an incredible sentence. Let's think about that sentence. He dipped my mom backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad. And a month later got hit on a rollercoaster by a goose. What an amazing, you know, incredible piece of writing that is. A series of images cascading into each other.

At the lampoon, you wish. You wish. I know. Oh, never.

I never could have thought of anything like that in my glory days. So, okay. Well, there's a lot to, as my wife would say, there's a lot to unpack there. So Fabio was kissing women. I hope that's been discouraged on Fabio now. I would have carried a spray bottle around Fabio and sprayed him like a bad cat.

Would you spray him with, I can't believe it's not butter.

Okay. Remember, that was his big campaign. That's right.

That's right.

He was the shill for I can't believe it's not butter. I would have tongued it. You would have tongued Fabio?

My mom would have. She was like, let's go. We're going to go full throttle.

Sona would have bent him over backwards.

Put your hands through his hair.

Sona's twice as strong as Fabio. Okay. Wow. So that's so nice. I'm glad you came to the shows and I hope you had a good time. Was your dad traumatized by seeing your mom attacked by Fabio?

My dad's from Brooklyn, so he wasn't having it. And I think my dad has some sort of superpowers where he put some sort of hex on Fabio. And that's why he got hit by a goose in the face like a month later.

This is a pretty famous piece of tape. I guess he was on a roller.

coaster and and he and his nose is bleeding and everything and yeah and yeah there he is bleeding and it was apparently it was apparently a brooklyn goose

the goose was paid by your dad and uh pristine his face was here pristine yeah pristine never again

never again he uh so um i want to talk to you about your profession um you are first of all This is an incredible, incredible job to have. You're around so many births and you're bringing new life into the world. Tell us about that. Does it, do you get jaded or do you still see the miracle every time?

I think the day I'm like, oh, this is not amazing is the day I should just hang it up. Every time I do an ultrasound and I see a heartbeat for the first time for a patient, I'm amazed. Every time a baby takes its first breath and cries, I'm like, this is so amazing. Shout out to Gourley, who I know is on his paternity leave. He's on paternity leave, yeah. So congratulations to him.

He's on paternity leave. He's got two children now. And we're all excited for him. And Sona, of course, has experienced this miracle herself with twins.

Yes, yeah.

But you got over it real fast, Sona.

I was just like, let's get on with it. Let's do this. Get them out. Let's go. We gotta hit the clubs.

she took her newborns to the club well i only have one daughter i was one and done and i feel

like it's because i do so much with my patients i really live through their pregnancies with them and it's it's a beautiful thing i wish it happened during normal business hours um i think it's kind of a bummer that they like to come in the middle of the night the babies it's pretty rude is it

It's true that you've been accused of trying to induce between nine and five. None of your babies are born on any kind of bank holiday. They're not born.

Everyone's like, oh, you have to go play golf or something. I'm like, I don't play golf. Like, what year is this? But yeah, so I wish it happened during normal business hours. It doesn't. But I picked this when I was in my 20s. Now I'm in my 40s. I'm feeling a little old, a little schleppy. But it's okay. I still love it.

uh so i'm curious there's so many things to what are the things that you do immediately after the birth what are the uh what happened the baby's born um and i have been through this twice with my kids uh i was there very present very present for both uh why do you emphasize it i saw i saw so many things uh and um i uh and then it's so funny how you can kind of forget i don't know what you can you can kind of almost black out uh afterwards and so i'm trying to remember what happens i mean yes there's the cutting of the umbilical cord the dads black out a lot they literally pass out i didn't pass i didn't pass out um thank you yeah thank you so much for that

because the dads are always falling down and we're always like, we don't have time for you right now. Little bitches. And just like pick your, right? Yeah. We have smelling salts, like, come on. But the cutting of the cord, yes, the dads like to do that. I'm not sure how that became a thing, but if that makes them feel included, I'm all for it.

Well, it's so funny because I didn't ask to cut the cord, but the doctor said, now you cut the cord and he handed me the scissors. And I thought, well, am I getting paid here? You know what I mean? Oh my God. I'm serious. When I have a plumber over and he hands me the wrench, I'm like, okay, I want to, am I getting, am I getting a third? So that was my complaint.

I agree, you should have been compensated. And I worry about unions.

I don't want it to be a union violation.

Right, right. Okay. So that was my concern. I always tell the dads, it's thicker than you think. It's like cutting chicken because they kind of like take like little bites out of it, but you got to really go for the gusto. It's thicker than you think. Yeah. But the baby goes right on mommy's abdomen. We do delayed cord clamping, get some blood flow back into baby. We want to do that skin to skin for that first hour. A lot of bonding. Our hospital is really about mom and baby bonding. But yeah, we get them to stimulate and cry and give us that good first really great cry.

How do you get them to cry? Do you just tell them sad stuff? What do you do?

Yes, actually, I tell them no. A shocking number of Americans can't read. Baby's like, what? I hold them up and spank them on the butt, but we don't do that anymore.

40% of government buildings have asbestos!

Wah! Right. Wah! So I just sometimes flick its little foot, like underneath its foot. You go like this.

Yeah.

And it pisses them off.

Sure. Pisses me off just hearing about it.

I know. It's all about pissing the babies off, getting them that good cry. But we have such a great team at our hospital, our nurses.

are so great bedside. So I'm very lucky and I do really love my job.

box of brief liner. They're quick to dry, super versatile, and stand up to even my most intense training sessions. Plus, they come in three inseams and a ton of colors. Ready to try pair? Go to viuri.com slash arch and get 20% off at checkout. I think you're going to love them as much as I do. That's viuri.com slash A-R-C-H and get 20% off your first order. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Have a great

day. This podcast is supported by the original organic bedding and bath brand, Koyuchi.

Koyuchi has spent 35 years pioneering quality organic textiles, long before the word organic became, you know, trendy. But words matter to Koyuchi. Words like craftsmanship, longevity, and wellness. So what does the word wellness mean to Koyuchi? It means that all of our products are absolutely free from harsh chemicals and dangerous toxins that can seep into your skin. It means effortless style that looks as good as it feels with naturally breathable, pre-washed organic cotton. And what does all of that mean to you? Well, it means that you can sleep well in Koyuchi's crisp, cool, luxuriously soft sheets that are ethically made and made with you in mind. Live well, sleep well with Koyuchi. And now during our Memorial Day sale event, you can enjoy 20% off organic cotton sheets, towels, and everything else at Koyuchi.com. That's Koyuchi.com for 20% off from now until May 25th. C-O-Y-U-C-H-I.com. I'm John Morgan of Morgan & Morgan. My best

advice to you when hiring a lawyer for your injury case is simple. If you know court personnel, ask them who they'd hire. They know. If you know an insurance adjuster, ask them. They know. And then ask them about us. Ask them about Morgan & Morgan. They know. I look forward to talking to you soon. There's only one Morgan & Morgan, America's largest injury law firm for the people. Injured? Dial Pound Law. Offices Pensacola.

what kinds of things could you teach me you're very hyper aware of the female body and there are probably things uh believe it or not that even i wouldn't be aware of you know what i mean and maybe this is a good thing i don't know this is a good chance uh for me to know uh some things

if you can impart to me any wisdom well i think knowing anatomy is really important erogenous zones what are those things that could right well man we got to really start from the beginning yeah um just i think a big thing that sometimes men don't know is that women have more than two holes they have three holes so that's always wait what are we talking about here now what are you

talking about wait what right yeah no he's more specific because i honestly suddenly it's a bowling

ball what it would yes urinate through what's that right huh urinate urinate yeah peepees peepees yeah yeah uh-huh peepees poo-poo yes of course right and then baby come out of the vagina yeah so that's three he's scared of the word vagina but it's the urethra oh really urethra the anus anus right sona we're gonna use our doctor words yes i said peepee and poo-poo

So tell me about your medical school, right? How did that even happen? So sure you went to poo poo, poo poo you. So, okay. So the erogenous zones, you could help any man know about the erogenous zones.

Yeah. Where the clitoris is. I feel like that's really, there's a great book.

Like there's a clitoris. Listen, there's a book you should read. As far as I'm concerned, that's Sasquatch. You hear a lot of talk, but I've seen no evidence. Here's a blurry photo of a clitoris. Yeah, I've seen that photo. Look. I'm a Sasquatch. If you're going to be talking bullshit on this thing, I am a clitoris denier.

Oh, no. We have enough misinformation online. We can't, we have flat earthers. Now we have clitoris deniers.

I love a guy having, he's got a blurry photo from 1938 of a clitoris running between two trees. See it right there? Yeah. I don't know.

This was taken by a Scottish hiker. Wow. Okay, well, yeah.

Literous denier.

Oh, wow.

I could teach you how to do a circumcision. Oh, okay.

Hey, how do you do those? I'm curious. I mean, how do you, how does one, what's the tool that's used for a circumcision? I've been to, I have been to many Brisses And I have many, many Jewish friends and I've been to Brissa's, but you can't really see what's going on. And I've tried to fight for good luck and they say that's inappropriate. I've been shoved by rabbis. Because it's weird when a guy is saying, hey, I want to see that kid's dick. People get freaked out. You know? Yeah. Hey, let me in there. Oh my God. I got to see that kid's dick. People get freaked out.

I don't know why.

So, um, and I know that now I can see why that's an issue, but what is the tool that's used?

So different people use different tools. I like to use something called a Mogan. So it looks like a cigar cutter and you just pull up the foreskin and you go across and then you clamp it down and then you lop it off with a scalpel.

And does the kid cry a lot after that?

So, no, we actually do a dorsal nerve block. So injecting lidocaine, and they get a sugar pacifier. We play music. It's like a spa experience.

So it's not traumatic for the kid.

I mean, it might be. They can't tell me, but we try not to make it dramatic.

Hey, how convenient for you.

Honestly, they're the best patients.

Yeah. That's interesting. So you do the old chop on the foreskin.

Then we have the calamari piece. Yeah, I love this. Yes, you love that. That's your joke. I steal it.

That's my favorite joke to do at Briss's. is to say, hey man, that calamari was really good. Cause they always have a meal afterwards. They always serve food at a bris. And I always say, I love the calamari. And then the person goes, we don't have calamari. And I go, oh, now that joke works cause he ate the foreskin thinking it was calamari. Right, do you get it? Yeah, yeah, I got it, okay. I'm glad you love that joke.

It's not my favorite thing to do though. I don't love to do circumcisions, you know, being an obstetrician oncologist. If anyone said that's my favorite thing to do,

that's the red flag right there. You know what I mean?

Yes, and I try to avoid penises doing what I do. And then they're like, oh, you have to do surgery on the smallest penis possible, you know? So that's a little weird.

I don't remember booking an appointment with you. Oh my God. Home run, home run.

This is a well for you, just a deep well.

You are so happy. So let's do the chart on this conversation. I'm the guy with the smallest penis in the world who insists on checking out a kid's dick at a bris and doesn't believe there's a clitoris. Right. That's gonna go on your tombstone. Yeah.

Yay!

This is, I lay out comedically, no one lays out more awful information about themselves than I do. I don't know why that delights me. But, you know, I will say on the serious side, that is, what an incredible job to have Because I do think in the modern world, we get removed from birth and death. We've anesthetized ourselves to it. And so it's amazing to just to be around so much new life would be, I think, very affirming, right? Be pretty amazing.

And it just keeps going. You know, during COVID, we were delivering babies nonstop. That does not stop. So even though we felt like the world was ending, you saw that it doesn't. it just keeps going. Life is just going to keep rolling along. And it really grounded me and helped me to see that there's so many beautiful things happening every day, even though it felt like the world was ending. You guys were a huge part of what got us through COVID too. Just listening to your podcast was so important. Kept us laughing, kept us going. And now that we're through that, I definitely have a deeper relationship and understanding with my patients. And I love what I do. I love, I really do love my patients. I get to practice where I grew up. So I feel connected to my community and I'm very lucky. That's cool.

I think it's great. I love that you were this teenager coming by, checking out our goofy tapings. And now I'm talking to you all these years later and you're just, you're a very impressive person, Jessica. Really, seriously. and uh very thanks very cool to talk to you and i love talking to people that have these jobs that

are just so impressive yeah as a woman the relationship we have with our ob's is such an important relationship to be able to say whatever we need

to say about our bodies. It's awesome. I mean, I love my OB. You know, it's awesome. I'm not crying. My voice is doing something weird.

So you're saying you don't have that relationship with me. You don't feel like you could tell me anything about your body.

Absolutely. Do you want to hear about perimenopause and all the symptoms that I'm having?

I don't want to hear about any of it.

See, this is the problem. You don't want to hear about... The word vagina scares you.

I don't want to... We're not doing this right now. To quote my father, we're not talking about that right now.

Not right now.

He would say that about any time anything came up that he didn't want to deal with him. Like, we're not talking about that right now. Oh, I guess we're not. Never. Well, Jessica, really lovely talking to you. And I hope we-

This was a dream come true. You guys are all awesome.

I hope we cross paths in person. That'd be really cool. And then we can hear more about this fabled clitoris.

I can draw you a picture.

Yeah. Might as well draw a unicorn as far as I'm concerned.

Thank you for your time, guys. I'm an idiot. Thank you, Jessica. Bye. A dream. Have a great one.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovcesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer Aaron Blaird Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples Associate Producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by Eduardo Perez Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done

Procurement shouldn't be a guessing game. Whether you're running a small business or managing a large organization, Amazon Business offers smart purchasing experiences designed to meet your unique needs. Streamline your buying process, save time and money, and gain valuable insights to make smarter decisions. Empower your team to buy with confidence. Learn more at AmazonBusiness.com.

What's going on? I'm Arch Manning, Viore athlete and college quarterback. Whether I'm running, training, traveling, or just online at home, I love doing it in my core shorts from Viore. With a breathable box of brief liner, they're quick to dry, super versatile, and stand up to even my most intense training sessions. Plus, they come in three inseams and a ton of colors. Ready to try pair? Go to viuri.com slash arch and get 20% off at checkout. I think you're going to love them as much as I do. That's viuri.com slash A-R-C-H and get 20% off your first order. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Have a great day.